I cheated on my BF. Should I tell him?
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| Thu, 10-07-2004 - 10:09am |
A couple of months ago I met another guy. He's a friend of my sister's BF and he moved in with them. We use to hang out together. We'd watch a movie, play cards, or play some kind of board game. I eventually started liking this guy and he started liking me.
Last week, I decided to break things off with my BF. I wanted more out of the relationship. I wanted to mean more to him and I didn't think I did. I wanted more of his time. I wanted him to make sacrafices for me when I was so willing to make sacrafices for him. But I didn't want to ask him for it. I didn't want to ask him to change for me. I've tried and he didn't listen. So I didn't expect things to work out. From the things he has said, I basically got the impression that his priorities (work and school) were more important to him than trying to make this relationship work.
So Friday night I called my BF up to break things off. But he didn't pick up. I wasn't aware of it at the time but he was at a concert. Just another thing he hadn't told me about. Well, later that evening I went to a club with my sister, her bf, and his friend. Afterwards, I spent the night at their place. I started out sleeping in the living room, but I ended up going into the other guy's room to lay down with him. Sometime in the night, we woke up kissing and continued kissing even after we were both awake. Things kind of moved from there. We didn't go all the way. I didn't let it go that far but I did let him touch me.
The next day, I tried breaking up with my BF. This time he listened to me and we ended up talking things out. He didn't want the relationship to end yet. He wanted to try working things out. He said he finally realized that he had been neglecting me and taking me for granted. He's willing to try to change all that. It came as a surprise to me. I didn't believe he would want to try to change. I hadn't felt like I was that special to him. So now we're still together. We're going to try to work this thing out. But there's still the fact that that one night happened and my BF doesn't know about it. I don't know if I should tell him. I believe he has the right to know. Technically, I did cheat on him. We were still together at the time.
I now realize that I only did what I did because I wanted to feel wanted. With the other guy, I felt wanted and I wasn't lonely. Also, I thought things were pretty much over between me and my BF. That's no excuse. I know. For we were still together even if I had intended on ending things.
Do I tell him and see where things go from there? If I tell him, I know he'll be hurt. I already lied to him. He had asked me if anything had happened between me and the other guy other than us just liking one another. I said no. There's was no point in hurting him anymore more than necessary. I had already broken up with him at the time.
Please help me. I'm not sure what's the best thing to do right now.
There's a few more things I should probably mention. I'm 22 yrs old. My BF is 20. The other guy is 29. I've been with my BF for the past 2 yrs and 5 months. I love him so much. He means so much to me. That's why I couldn't understand why I didn't seem to mean as much to him. He loves me too. I know he does. But I use to doubt him every so often. A lot of those times, it just didn't seem like it.

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hmmm....makes me sad..(headphones on....listening ABBA's 'lay all your love on me...dont go wasting ur emotions....lay all your love on me...dont go sharing ur emotions...lay all your love on me')
hmmm...really...confused?
as to sx..wanna say to her...that if ur bf honestly doesnt understand ur behaviour..it only means that he truly loves u...coz love understands no logic..and all of us here were probably giving u a logical answer...and that is also very necessary...coz reality always seems to be different to the world of love...so one needs to live in the two world at a balance...hence...us guys here were probably giving u the view from the real world...at the end...u and ur bf should be ready that emotions may change...and u will probably not last together forever..as truewild says...but when there's the time to depart...just try to end it nice without the necessity of breaking each others heart...i know it doesnt work like that...but i just hope that the pain is minimised as much as possible...hmmm...ok...
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