i dont know any more

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
i dont know any more
1
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 3:44pm

I am a 37 year old and never been married. Been liveing with bf for 2 years was dateing him for 2 befor that. He never wants to get married he owns his own business and made me start one 2 years ago but its not doing well and now I am stuck with a dete of over 10thousand that he cosigned for how can i get out of this without owning
I have taken care of his child like my own and when his father got sick I took care of him too. I do all his running around as well in all of this I have started my own business and now owe the bf lots of money.All he does is work, watch movies or on his computer and sleeps most of the time on the couch.
I have been with him almost 4 years liveing with him just over a year.
My friends dont come over any more because all he does when they are here is talk about work,or how much better he is then they and how much money he has or puts in a movie and doesn't talk to anyone he told me the other day that he only talked and has friends that have lots of money he thinks all my friend a useless because they dont make big bucks some of these friend I have had for over 20 years I have never been rude to any of his friends he even does this to his own Aunts Uncles and cousins
He told me he wants to build a cottage. About 5 hours from where we live now and when he retires that is where we will live. He does not want me to help pay for the land but wants me to help pay to have the cottage to be built. when he dies the cottage and land will be left to his son. What about my kids I am finley starting to get it together I was useing his trucks and he didnt want me going anywhere after 4:30pm thats when he got home from work well I went out and bought a car I had to get a loan for and now he is pissed one day he parked so could not get out I dont want to leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 4:03pm

This relationship doesn't sound like it is doing much for you. You seem to be doing a lot of giving and he seems to be doing a lot of taking. Whatever you do, don't give him a dime toward the cottage if your name isn't going on the title and you will never own it.

Your last line is "I don't want to leave". I suggest you reconsider this option. There are plenty of wonderful men out there who would be more than willing to treat you much better than this guy.

If you have a debt and he cosigned the loan then both of you are obligated to pay the debt. $10K isn't that big a sum where you can't repay it over time. You need to talk to him about your repayment options because if you don't pay the debt it will both your credit records that will suffer. If I were you I would make sure you have a job that pays enough so that if this relationship sours badly you can find a place on your own and get away from this guy.