The "I don't know" Feeling/Response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
The "I don't know" Feeling/Response.
6
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 7:54pm

If a person is confused about a relationship because of conflicting positive and negative feelings/thoughts, is it better for him/her to give the relationship further chance or to let go of the relationship? Which way would YOU be more inclined towards if you were in a Dilemma with "conflicting feelings/thoughts".

How should an "I don't know" (neither Yes, nor No) be dealt with, in general?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 12:29pm

gal adri25...

Pianoguy thinks this depends upon the couple and their timeframe!

Some individuals want to know where things are headed IMMEDIATELY after date #2. Others are willing to invest a little more time in order for the relationship to possibly "blossom?"

The most important question each of us has to ask ourself is:

DO I REALLY LOVE THIS PERSON? AND DO I LOVE HIM (OR HER) ENOUGH TO INVEST THE TIME ACCORDING TO THE PACE HE (OR SHE) IS SETTING?

Now if the signals your partner give you seem 'a little too mixed'---maintain a little SPACE for awhile. This way...your 'almost S.O.' can get his (or her) head on straight in order to arrive at a decision that you're both happy with?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 4:31pm

I think it depends on how long the relationship has been going on.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 6:07pm
Thanks for the clarification PG and jajalel. The guy I was dating over long distance did not have answers all of a sudden and wanted a one month break "to see if he will miss me". I broke up with him, because I just did not feel right about being kept hanging. It's another thing to "go slow" when unsure, and it is another thing to ask for "a break". I still wonder if it was the "distance" factor that broke us up. I wish he could have continued to show his patience, a positive attitude, and persistence if he truly liked me. A guy has no idea, how much a girl wishes that and how much of a difference it makes to keep something going. This is the same guy who had expressed time and time again how much he sees me as a Mother of his kids. The same guy "giving up" makes me go "you are not being a man". Who needs such a "weak" person anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 9:35pm

<< If a person still doesn't know what kind of relationship he wants with you after you've spent several months to a year together, then he probably will never know. >>

No kidding, Jilly! I have a friend who's been with his GF for over 5 years and STILL doesn't know. They broke up recently for a few weeks, and he said he's "giving it another try." It's really pretty sad ... because he's fooling himself ... everyone else sees it ... but, as the saying goes "love is blind." I've known this friend since college (12+ years ago) so most of our friends have seen their relationship up's 'n downs ... I kinda just wanna shake him and say "after 5 years, shouldn't you KNOW by now?!" So, yah, I'd agree ... when two people are just holding on for fear of letting go ... it's time to LET GO!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 3:51pm
I think one is usually able to tell from fairly early on whether the relationship has potential or not. In my experience, if the man starts getting cold feet he simply wants out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 3:30pm

Hey, Starbuck,

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