I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar for leopardqueen
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 1:48am
I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months and we are "friends". We are both single parents so we dont get to spend a lot of time together but when we can we do. We do have sex and we talk practaly everyday weither it is online or on the phone or both. I know that he really cares about me but he has a problem with our age differance. I am 11 years younger than him. I have talked to him about it and he said that when he is with me (even when we arent having sex)it doesnt really bother him at all but when he is alone and he thinks about it it makes him feel like a dirtbag. One time i asked him "what if I was a couple of years older and it wasnt such a big deal?" and he said that then he would be persuing what we have together and seeing where it would take us. I really really care about him and i know that he does care about me. When i had to go to court for something one time he told me that as soon as i get out and i know what is happenin gto call him and let him know what happened and when i told him that i didnt want to bother him while he was at work he said that it didnt matter he still wanted me to call so that he knows how it went. If i am at home during the day and i am online(which is like all of the time)and he is at work at his desk he will sit there and talk to me for hours at a time online all day if possible. I know that if my age didnt bother him so much we would be going out and we would have a relationship. I just dont know if i should wait for him to get over the age thing or if i should just say forget you and move on. We met online and we both still have our dating profiles up and we have each started talking to different people to see if we might have anything with them but it never works out and we just keep coming back to each other. Sometimes i feel like telling him " look we both really like and care about each other and we arent having any luck what-so-ever with anybody else why dont you just get over the age thing so we can hook up." I know that his biggest problem with the age thin gis that he thinks about if his daughter(who is 3) was going to go out with somebody 11 years older than her he would want her to be happy but he couldnt condon it. PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 11:44am

leopardqueen...

It's a shame your b/f has this "hang-up" about an 11-year age difference. The two of you seem pretty compatible everywhere else.

Pianoguy thinks you should "lay your cards on the table" and reveal your thoughts concerning the age difference. Afterwards...ask the man if he'd be happier if you were IN or OUT of his life? If you ask the question EXACTLY this way, he has to tell you something. If his response is positive...then it's up to you to tell him that 'as deeply as you love him, you need more from him!' This includes 'tearing down the wall' about the age difference.

Reassure the man that an 11-year difference isn't a big deal to you.....because you'd still love him if he was 30 years older!

Good Luck!

Pianoguy