I dont know what to do? Need Help fast!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
I dont know what to do? Need Help fast!!
24
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 8:53pm
Hey guy's, My situation is a lil complicated. Ok well I met this guy on the internet Lets

Say about 6 month's ago. Well me and him really hit it off and we have alot of things in common. We want the same things in life and I think that's great, but I made one mistake when we met. I sent him a fake pic and now he wants to meet me. I know that was kinda immature but people make mistakes and I admit that it was a mistake. It was very foolish of me. I really want to meet him but I dont know how to tell him the truth. Can anyone give me any pointer's on how to break the news to him? I really do love this guy and im afraid that he will stop talking to me or if he does keep talking to me he will never trust me again. Please help me. I will appreciate any kind of help. Thank you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 9:01pm
Unfortunatelly, a mistake of this caliber cannot be fixed, as he's thinking that the woman he wants to meet looks different. However, If you really want to meet him then take the chance and explain it to him. He, though, could not find the laughter in that. Be prepared for him to break up all communication with you. Lies like these aren't funny at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:40pm
Yes, I totally agree with you. Nothing about this is funny and i know he will not take this as a laughing matter. I want to tell him the truth but I just dont know how. I dont even know how to start. This is just so confusing for me. I dont know how I could've gotten myself into this situation. Anyway thank you for taking out the time to read my post and reply to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:50pm
My question for you is why did you send him the fake photo? I'm sure you didn't do it as a joke. Did you do it because you didn't think he would find the real you attractive? And if so, what made you think that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 2:52pm
I am going to be blunt here.

Did you send him a photo of someone much more attractive? Did you send it because you have insecurity in your own appearance? Do you think he will not find you attractive and now that he knows the 'real' you, you assume looks won't matter?

If any of these are why, I suspect this is a lost cause. If you are equally as attractive or not worried about your physical appearance and just sent the fake photo because initially you didn't expect this to turn into anything, then I would send him a real one and an explanation along the lines of "I never thought we would get to be such good friends, being over the internet I was scared to send a real picture, then the more we started talking, I didn't now how to fix it".. and hope he finds the real you as equally appealing.

I hate to say that looks matter, but looks matter. Right, wrong, shallow, whatever.. for most people, looks matter. Hoping he would like you for you and not any flaws you think you have, well that is a dangerous game and the main reason I refuse to engage in 'online' dating. If you 'meet' someone online, move it to a real physical date a week or two after first talking, there is no reason to build this online romance when the lack of physical chemistry can kill it in an instant the second you meet.


Edited 8/26/2004 2:53 pm ET ET by theclevergirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 3:04pm

I'm actually glad you posted this problem because I have always wondered about this!


Why in the world would you send somebody else's picture to a person you are trying to meet????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:31pm
Yeah your totally right. I didnt send the fake pic as a joke. You are also right about the reason why i sent the pic too. Very smart person lol. I am not comfortable with the way i really look. See i am alil over weight and i didnt want him to know what i really look like cause im not really comfortable with my looks at this point.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:38pm
Ok...but you had to know that doing so would mean that you'd never be able to meet the person, or you'd have to tell him you lied (which would also almost certainly mean that you'd never get to meet him), so what's the point?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:44pm
Yes in my eyes she is more attractive than me, and yes i do have my own insecurities. yes i dont think he will find the real me attractive. But no, I did not feel that he would fall in love with my personality and that my looks wouldnt matter. I know just as everyone else knows that looks do matter. Its not my thing to meet ppl online. Like i said this was a mistake. I was bored one day got into a chatroom and he wrote to me. I really wasnt interested at the time. He asked for a pic and since i never send my real one i just sent him one that i had of a friend. Like i said i didnt expect things to get so out of hand. I really wasnt going to keep talking to this man but he turned out to be so sweet and caring. Now i dont know how to get myself out of the situation i got myself into.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:56pm
Ok i know where you are coming from with that question, because i totally agree with you. But that's the thing i really wasnt trying to meet anyone. I dont really meet ppl on the net. I got into a chat room one day cause i was kinda bored and he wrote to me. I didnt wanna be mean and ignore him so i just started talking to him. He asked me for a pic and since i never send my real pic cause im not really comfortable with my image, I sent him one i had of a friend. I didnt expect to keep talking to him like i told someone else who answered my post, but he turned out to be really sweet and caring and we just clicked. We have alot of things in common. No i am not extremely lonely. I have plenty of friends, and the answer to your next question is yes. I never expected for this guy to want to meet me in person. like i said to someone else i didnt send him the pic so he could fall in love with my personality and think that looks dont matter. I know that looks do matter. But can i ask you a question? Your guy friends that this happened to. How did they deal with it when this happened to them? I just wanna have an idea of how he will react when i tell him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 7:07pm
Yes i do know that. But at that point it didnt really matter to me that i would never get to meet this person. Like i said before i dont meet ppl on the internet. All i cared about was this guy not knowing what i really look like.

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