I dont know what to do? Need Help fast!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
I dont know what to do? Need Help fast!!
24
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 8:53pm
Hey guy's, My situation is a lil complicated. Ok well I met this guy on the internet Lets

Say about 6 month's ago. Well me and him really hit it off and we have alot of things in common. We want the same things in life and I think that's great, but I made one mistake when we met. I sent him a fake pic and now he wants to meet me. I know that was kinda immature but people make mistakes and I admit that it was a mistake. It was very foolish of me. I really want to meet him but I dont know how to tell him the truth. Can anyone give me any pointer's on how to break the news to him? I really do love this guy and im afraid that he will stop talking to me or if he does keep talking to me he will never trust me again. Please help me. I will appreciate any kind of help. Thank you.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 7:27pm
Well, all you can do is tell him the truth. Most likely he will react with anger at being lied to but he may be able to understand your reasoning and forgive you. That's the only thing you can do if you want to have a chance with this guy.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 8:46pm
Thanx, That is exactly what im gonna do. Tell him the truth and just hope for the best even though it's not likely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 6:05pm

The situation with my friends was a little different from yours, because they were actually conversing with women on Internet Personals sites, like Match.com.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 7:52pm
Thank you for the insight. Yes i do get the picture. And yes, I know that it was bad judgement to send a fake pic. But I also have learned from that mistake and I guarantee that it will not happen again. I dont even think im going to get into chat rooms anymore. They are a total waste of time. I was surprised at how that woman just kept calling your friend. Its like she wasnt in the least bit ashamed of her actions. Its kind of perplexing to me because I on the other hand feel extremely guilty for what I did. I not sure how my friend will act when i tell him, but I will Be prepared for whatever comes. Thanx for the luck, I will definitely need it. I will keep you guys informed. Thanx for the help.

Jessy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 12:29am
Ya know, I really wish you would not be so hard on yourself. So you sent a picture of someone else... in the grand scheme of things, with all of the things on going in the world, who really cares?

Really, I don't see why everyone is being so hard on you. They seem to be more worried about how the guy would feel, rather than how you feel. You come here looking for advice, looking for support, and instead you are criticized for what happened. You said yourself that you are uncomfortable with how you look. Where is the support in that? Everyone seems more worried about how he would feel and about you lying to him, instead of helping you and offering suggestions on how to feel better about yourself.

The thing to take from this is just that... look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I am beautiful." I bet you have a beautiful smile and a gorgeous set of eyes. Maybe you have shapely legs. If you feel the need to lose some weight, by all means, get involved in some form of exercise. If nothing else, it can increase your confidence, then you will want everyone to see pictures of you.

If you meet this guy, or tell him what happened, and he blows you off, I know it will hurt... forget about him. Maybe on some deep level you felt like you needed to lie to him. Maybe he's a superficial brat. Who knows...

If he's a decent guy he'll deal with it like a big boy. If someone did that to me I would still take some time to get to know them. If I found there was a pattern, then I would take action that was appropriate for me.

Whatever happens, take care of yourself.

A~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 2:04am
Hey, thanx alot. That really made me feel better. But I do understand where they were all coming from. I am alil overweight yes, but I dont hate everything about myself. I mean I do hate the weight thing, but i do like my skin complexion and my eyes. I cant say very much more than that. I try to look in the mirror and tell myself "I am beautiful". But it's hard to believe when I walk down the street and ppl point and laugh. But you know what? Im not sitting on my butt doing nothing. I changed my diet and i have lost some weight. I am actually being medically cleared for surgery, the gastric bypass. The doctors say that it will help me alot. I sure hope so.

If I do tell this guy and he blow's me off, yes your right it's gonna hurt. But there are plenty of guys in the world. Ofcourse not all of them are as sweet and caring as this guy is, but I will survive lol. I really dont consider him a superficial brat. But who know's how he will handle the situation. I'm thinking right now, when is a good time to tell him (which is never) and how do I tell him (I'm totally drawing a blank on that one). But hey thanx for the support, and thank you i will try my best to take good care of myself. Take care

Jessy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 4:45am
Hon, I just got out of school for surgical technology and have seen one gastric bypass after another. I am not here to scare you--but to inform you of what the doctors Will not--because of the money they make from the surgery. Gastric bypass is a MAJOR surgery, more infection rate then ANY other and more death rate then ANY other. If the doctor makes a slight mistake and measures more then 100cm down on your jejunum, you will no longer absorb vitamins AT all and will die a slow death of malnutrition, they can fix it if they figure out what they did--but it requires another gastric bypass. I know this surgery has helped alot of people and you will probably be alright, just make sure that you exhaust all other avenues as far as weight loss before you do this. If you have any questions about this surgery or what they will be doing in the OR I will be glad to answer. Just please be aware and cautious of doing this. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 7:15pm
tell him just what you wrote here.

That you were not looking for a date in the chat room and you did not think you meet someone who interested you as he did nor would want to meet them.

Then tell him that because of that you did not send him a pix of you.

That you were not trying to trick him.

What I have learned from meeting someone on the net is:

Don't let some one or yourself e mail someone or chat with someone for such a long time that you have a preconcieved notion or fantasy,

Talk on the phone and then arrange to meet them for coffee.

That way if you don't have the chemistry neither of you will be disappointed because you have not invested that muich time into them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 8:11pm
I , too have had so many male friends who have met women on match and when they finally meet them -either the person has gained 100 pounds and or the picture they had on their profile was 10 years prior.

However I have met guys from Match who's pics were several years ago and they had gained weight or lost hair.

That is why I want to meet them as soon as possible so if it is not good then I have not spent alot of time and energyu

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Sat, 08-28-2004 - 10:23pm
Thank you for the insight. My doctors have been keeping up to date with what goes on in the o.r room. But ofcourse they are not gonna tell me the whole truth. If i have any questions i will definitely come to you thank you.