I don't understand men!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
I don't understand men!
1
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 3:37pm
Its a long one......but I need some help~
I met a guy 5 years ago, we have always been kind of close but in the last year we have become almost best friends, we tell each other things that we don't tell other people. The problem is, I am in love with him, he is the greatest guy I have ever met and is truly my best friend. The bigger problem is the only thing I can't tell him is how I feel.
He had been dating a completely unstable girl for about a little over a year. I think she was definitely sick, she used to abuse him and say horrible things to him. I never wanted to talk about her because he wouldn't dump her, he was trying to for the last 8-10 months but never would. He kept telling me it was complicated and I didn't understand, so I told him not to tell me anything about her unless it was good. About 6 months ago she committed suicide, I know now that she must have been threatening suicide.
We have become even closer since it happened, we talk to each other at least once a day and he is my best friend. A few weeks ago, he called me to come get him while he was drunk, I went. When we got back to his place, he had a break down, and wouldn't tell me why. All he kept saying was that "...he was so confused.....he didn't know what to do....and that he loved me". I tried getting him to talk to me, but all he wanted to do was cuddle and go to sleep. I left after he fell asleep. He woke up still drunk, called me and told me that he was sad that I wasn't still there, and that he was lonely. We have not talked about it since.
A few days later he told me about a girl that he was talking to for a few weeks and was considering dating, I know he was asking my advice but I didn't know what to say. He is now dating her, though I know it is not serious, I am completely jealous.
We tell each other we love each other at least once a day, and talk everyday. I love him, but I don't want to lose him if he doesn't feel the same way. What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:40pm
Well, he gave you your ice breaker. You can bring up what he said while he was drunk and ask him to expound upon it. Ask him what he really feels for you. If you don't confront the situation you'll be sitting back and watching him date girl after girl forever. Just be ready for the talk because your relationship will either go one way or the other after that.