I feel like I've tried my best
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| Wed, 10-06-2004 - 5:56am |
I have gotten discouraged, thinking that he must just be friendly with everyone, cause he never even called me by my name. Then finally, a month ago, after major stress on my part, I got the nerve to invite him to an open house party for Labor Day. When we gave him the invitation, he immediately smiled and seemed happily surprised but also told us that he had to work, which didnt surprise me because it was a busy day for him. But just the fact that I kind of started something by giving him something that says lets do something together, outside of work, I felt was a big move. Of course, it would have been nice if he came, but I wasnt surprised that he couldnt and I didnt take it personally. Actually, I think he is very friendly with the general crowd, but think maybe he is shy with going past that. I dont know, I could be wrong. Anyway, after we gave him the invitation, the next time we went in, he called me by my name! in a kind of mumbly voice, but he did! That may sound very insignifigant to readers, but it was something. So, now here comes winter, and I probably wont be seeing him much, and feeling sad. I do believe he is interested in me and he really likes my daughter too. I just dont know what else I can do. I cant ask him out. I just feel sad about it. I kind of wish I could just forget about him, but I don't think I can.

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Pianoguy noticed the music notes next to your name...so it's obvious you and I have a 'musical connection?'
Okay...
You've made one effort to attract this man's attention...but he wasn't interested in attending a social gathering with a bunch of people he didn't know. You also indicated that the gentleman treats all his customers with courtesy and respect. So here are 3 things to consider....he has a g/f already, he's gay or perhaps he's just a friendly guy who has no desire to get serious with anybody?
How are your baking skills? Can you whip up a batch of toll house cookies...or something more elaborate? Most of us are delighted when women bake for us. If you want to try this approach...fine! Deliver the cookies the next time you stop in...and indicate it's a "small thank you gift" from you (and your daughter) for his many kindnesses in the past.
This won't GUARANTEE anything. But most 'enlightened men' usually offer some way to reciprocate....flowers, a dinner invitation, or perhaps something that would indicate his true feelings for you (if any). Just remember...you can't FORCE anybody to be affectionate. Those feelings have to come honestly from both sides of a couple.
Best wishes and warm thoughts...
Pianoguy
I think youre probably right about several things. I know you cant force someone to be affectionate. I know that, but I guess my main frustration is that I feel that there is something, but just dont know if I will wait forever for it to solidify or if it is around the corner or it if is my imagination.
I dont think he's got a girlfriend or spouse because of the way that he communicates with me. I dont think he's gay for the same reason. I do think he's committed to his family, a sister with handicaps.
I just dont think I can go in there and bring a baked item right now. I have never been forard with men. I just feel that it would be too straightforward. That is too scary.
I just dont know what I will do.
I'm so sorry for your situation, it seems so sad. I know it's truly easier said than done, but if you really, really feel something there, then you HAVE to make a move. You'll always wonder if you don't. He may be going through the same thing you are and what a tragedy that would be, if you both wanted to be with the other but didn't because you weren't sure how the other felt. Go for it and Good Luck!!
Sometimes....it's necessary to NOT throw caution to the wind and take a risk! So if you've got a little sugar, flour, a few eggs and toll-house semi-sweet chocolate bits....mix 'em together, bake 'em up and pop 'em in a nice tin with a small red bow on top!
Pianoguy (who made himself hungry for a handful of M&M's after writing this)!
Pianoguy thinks you could use a "personal pep talk" about this. Click on my profile and send me an email if you're interested.
Pianoguy
If you feel there is some kind of chemistry or spark between the two of you, chances are you're right. Whether it is to be is another question entirely.
Can you atleast ask him to have lunch with you since you two are speaking quite frequently? Lunch is lunch and it's always a safe bet.
However, I too am so old fashioned and am a total advocate of the men coming after me. To me, that shows his true interest and there can usually be no question.
You may just have to wait and be patient and in that time, maybe you'll focus your attention on someone else. Who knows? The world of love is very crazy.
Meanwhile, if you feel as though you've tried your best, then my dear, it is his loss and definitely not yours. Maybe the timing just isn't right. Who knows? Only time will tell. Good luck. I so know how you feel because I'm in the same boat, unfortunately. ;)
pen
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