I feel like I've tried my best

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I feel like I've tried my best
13
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 5:56am
I'm a single mom, boyfriend of five years and I split up last year. I have had a sort of distant crush on this man whose business I go to on a fairly regular basis. I have known him to say hi to, for years, maybe 8 or so. Only this year I started going there more and we have become more friendly. He is a very friendly, poplular business guy and there are always people there thanking him and are on a first name basis with him. So I guess that's where I am unsure. I really believe that he likes me and has actually been on the same wave length as me this past year. I have become so attracted to him this year, even tho I always liked him before. But this year, we just seem to clik. I don't think it is my imagination, he is really very friendly and attentive to me and my daughter every time we go in there. I have tried to think about the little things that he's done and compare and see if he does those things with every customer. It's really hard for me to know, but I think that he goes out of his way to be friendly, maybe friendlier to us.

I have gotten discouraged, thinking that he must just be friendly with everyone, cause he never even called me by my name. Then finally, a month ago, after major stress on my part, I got the nerve to invite him to an open house party for Labor Day. When we gave him the invitation, he immediately smiled and seemed happily surprised but also told us that he had to work, which didnt surprise me because it was a busy day for him. But just the fact that I kind of started something by giving him something that says lets do something together, outside of work, I felt was a big move. Of course, it would have been nice if he came, but I wasnt surprised that he couldnt and I didnt take it personally. Actually, I think he is very friendly with the general crowd, but think maybe he is shy with going past that. I dont know, I could be wrong. Anyway, after we gave him the invitation, the next time we went in, he called me by my name! in a kind of mumbly voice, but he did! That may sound very insignifigant to readers, but it was something. So, now here comes winter, and I probably wont be seeing him much, and feeling sad. I do believe he is interested in me and he really likes my daughter too. I just dont know what else I can do. I cant ask him out. I just feel sad about it. I kind of wish I could just forget about him, but I don't think I can.

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 5:39pm
Pene,

Someone just gave me sound advice. If you like him, go for it and don't wait or you'll deeply regret it. Life is too short.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 6:32pm
Sorry, dont mean to sound whiney, but the way I feel is, I think he would reject me. I wrote that I really think he likes me or gives me vibes like that, but when I think of it in terms of how he would react if I asked him over or something, I think differently, like those vibes that I got before were missinterpreted. And I picture him being very gentle, but kindly making an excuse why he couldn't do something with me. So, I do think he likes me when I only think of how he's acted, but when I think about the scenario if I actually asked him out, then I picture him differently. Maybe sounds neurotic, but, hey, maybe I am...
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 9:29pm
You're not sounding whiney or being neurotic. I perfectly understand how you feel. If you're uncomfortable asking him, then you're uncomfortable.

Would you should do is just continue to be friendly when you see him and expect nothing. Just continue to smile and be friendly and approachable when you see him. If he still can't get the courage to say anything more to you then maybe it's not to be. It's not the end of the world and I'm sure there will be others you're attracted to and who will be attracted to you as well and you know what? We won't be on any message boards wondering how he feels or wondering if we should make a move or not because his actions will be clear enough.

Good luck, Pene. I'm sure we'll get there one day. Don't give up even if he many not be the one.

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