I hate the dating scene!
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I hate the dating scene!
| Wed, 06-30-2004 - 7:29am |
Well, here it is. I'm 31, 2 weeks from finalizing my divorce, and have been separated for a year and a half. I've tried dating, and it seems I always get my hopes up. After the last jerk I dated several weeks ago, I have decided that all men are jerks unless they prove to me that they are not. I used to always give people the benefit of the doubt and always see in the good in them upfront, then alway get dissapointed when I realize they are just jerks. So I met this guy last week on match.com. He "seems" really nice, we went out to meet for the first time this past Sunday, he "seemed" interestd, and has not called.
Am I expecting too much? Just looking for a phone call? Again, I don't want to get my hopes up, it was just one date. But if a guy is interested, wouldn't they call? The old me would have at least touched based with him by now via e-mail. But now, he has to make the first move because I refuse to. Is that wrong?
Thanks for listening.....

That doesn't mean he's a "jerk", however, just that he doesn't think the two of you are a potential match. Dating is a numbers game, and more likely than not, you're going to have a lot more of those first meetings that don't result in another one before you meet someone who's right for you.
One of the most helpful books I've read on dating is "A Fine Romance" by Judith Sills. It helped me get the concept of not taking dating personally. That's not to say I don't feel a bit of the sting of rejection when a guy doesn't call, but it passes quickly.
One question: are you making your first meetings with guys from match for coffee or something similarly short and informal? If not, I'd suggest you do. It's a lot easier to get past the sting and keep your expectations low if you can tell yourself, "it's just a cup of coffee."
Sheri
Ive felt the same that you have in the past.