I hope its not too late

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2013
I hope its not too late
8
Sun, 12-01-2013 - 9:17pm

HEy board:

I've been dating a wonderful woman for several months.  She wanted to take things slow and I agreed to this.  It was hard to be around her because I am so physically attracted to her.  Even when we speak on the phone I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.  I have never experiened anything like this.  So finally after months of waiting, we finally made love for the first time last week.  Now I consider myself an excellent lover and have left many women begging for more and unable to go a second round with me.  However with this woman she not only kept up with me but she completely drained me... I felt something in the back of my head pop while we were making love.  We went several times throughout the night and it was amazing.  I even pulled her close to my to cuddle where our legs intertwined.  It was beautiful.  I had not expected to like her this much but I do. I'm used to being in control but now I feel out of control with this woman.  I have developed strong feelings for her even before we made love and now that we finally made love she was everything I could ever want.  The problem is that I am not scared of her and scared of being hurt that I didn't call her the next day.  She called me and left a messgae.  A few hours later she left a text message. I ignored both her phone call and her text message.  It's been a week since we made love and I have not called her.  I fear I may have lost her.  I appreciate your suggestions.  To the men who respond have you ever felt something pop in the back of your head while making love?  Also why do I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up when I speak to her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 12-01-2013 - 9:57pm

I think most women would be really really mad if they waited to finally have sex with a guy and then after the guy doesn't contact them for a week--what kind of bad behavior is that?  The only thing I can think of is to call her (don't text) and try to explain that you were so overcome with emotion about how great she is that you were scared about the depths of your feelings so you didn't even know what to say.  I really guess I don't understand men--you find a woman who is the greatest thing ever--so you decide not to talk to her--and then you worry that she's gone.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 3:19am

If it were me, I would be hurt.  If I loved you, I would want to understand what happened.  Only she can tell you if it's too late.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 9:08am

Can I just be brutally honest here?

This is the most UNbelievable post I've read here on village.

Are you out of your mind?

You've been besotted with this woman for months and now you've made love and adored the experinece....WHY in g**'s name have you not yet called her???

You're either in your teens, or this isn't a real post.

Sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2013
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 2:22pm

Your response was very nasty.  Its funny how people think prefacing something with "can I be brutally honest" excuses human civility. I came on here requesting advice, if you were not going to give constructive criticism then you should have said nothing.  My post is quite real and I am not a teenager but a mature man in his early 50s.  If you continue to respond with such vitriol I will have no alternative but to report your posts as abusive to ivillage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2013
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 2:23pm

You are correct.  However I feel paralyzed by fear about calling her.  I don't think she'd take my call at this point.

Avatar for StephanieOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2013
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 4:36pm
When a couple is involved, what is most important is how the two individuals feel about each other. My suggestion is to start by calling her (right away) and explain your reasons for not calling earlier. She may be mad initially, but keep trying and hopefully she will respond :) Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 12-03-2013 - 6:20am

Billy,

If you are in your 50s...then you know how the real world works, and you know that we don't always hear what we want to hear re: our actions. (or in this case, read). I don't sugarcoat things and call a spade a spade. Again, in your 50s, you should be able to take it. My first thought on reading your post was, this is someone very very young, or someone just taking the p*** out of us trusting people. Simply because what you've written is THAT unbelievable to me. I don't see any feasible probable acceptable reason for a man (in his 50s!!) to be too scared to ring a woman he's been in love with for months + after they've had great sex.  Again I'm sorry but I don't have any respect for this kind of childish behaviour. It is unfathomable to me.

If you don't want to loose this woman completely (which may already be the case), you need to grow some b**s and pick up the phone.

I wish you good luck - you may well need it, I dare say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2013
Tue, 12-03-2013 - 10:21pm

You need to try and repair this. We all make mistakes and have regrets, that's normal. But life is short, and we need to get as much good out of it as we can, while we can. And it sounds like you had something very good with her. I would strongly encourage you to try again. Call her ASAP and tell her how you feel, and don't give up too quickly. If she doesn't respond immediately, try at least a few times. Life is short, make the most out of it.