I just don't want to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I just don't want to
3
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 12:44pm
Something has happened all of the sudden with me. I was dating a lot and then all the sudden I just stopped. I no longer wanted to date these guys where the realtionship was not going anywhere . I was just tired of it all the sudden. So I have stopped dating for the most part. I haven't been getting asked out as much and I am finding myself not very interested in anyone. A guy will ask me out and I think I want to go out with him and then when it comes time to put effort into I have no desire. Granted I have only felt like this a couple of times but I am scared I am going to turn myself into one of those old maids who shrival up and no one ever wants to date.

I guess I am ready for a realtionship, so many men freak out when they know that is what you are interested in. They act like you are going to hog tie them and take them to the altar or somthing. Alls I want is someone to kick it with. Someone who is around on the weekends and I can luagh with. Is it so bad to want that? I am getting closer to 30 and feeling mroe settled down in my life. It seems like the only guys pciking up on me are TOO YOUNG and TOO OLD. So I decided not to date for awhile and take time to collect my thoughts. My friends think i am being extreme, I thought it was healthy. Is this weird?? The fact that I just feel like disconnecting myself for awhile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 1:09pm
You might be interested in a book entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. He lays out some interesting reasons why stepping out of the dating game might be a good idea for many people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 1:49pm
Hi,

I read your post and I thought it was kind of funny.. not your question but the fact that they act like you are going to hog tie them to take them to the altar. I laughed because I agree with you 100%. I know so many men that are so afraid of getting serious with someone because they think marriage is next on the woman's 'agenda'. The fact that we might just want to hang out with someone even if for some laughs on the weekends, is beyond understanding. I do not think you are wierd to decide to sit back and not date for a while. While there are some great guys out there, quite a few back off when they think it's getting too serious and they feel the invisible noose around their necks. Good luck to you and my applause to you for wanting to take time out for a while. It's when you aren't looking that they start noticing you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 3:31pm
I feel your pain my dear! I also have been out of the "dating" arena since getting dumped (for the 1st time) 1 1/2 years ago. I am in college, single mom with 3 kids and quite honestly don't have the time right now to start something new with someone and I also (because I am approaching 34) wonder at times if I am going to become an old maid! lol :-) But, to tell you the truth, this is the very first time in my life I have been single and on my own. Though it can be lonely and scary at times--I have learned alot about myself and about what I want in my next relationship. Feel free to take some time out and NOT have to explain it to ANYONE. It's your life.You gain power by knowledge and sometimes knowledge comes best when you spend time with yourself. (if that makes any sense) and I also understand the younger guy thing--guys in their 20's are always asking me out (because I look alot younger) but the age thing is just too much for me--they are never on the same level with me (not any I've met). So don't worry about what anyone says or thinks about the decision's you make. This is something you are doing for yourself.....good luck!