I knew this was going to happen!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
I knew this was going to happen!!
4
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 7:14pm
I have developed strong feelings for my friend. He has expressed that he has feelings for me too. The problem is that he's just gotten out of a horrible long term relationship and is still pretty upset over it. What should I do? My instints tell me to keep my foot on the brakes until he's "over" his ex. Should I just be a good friend and be there for him if he needs someone to talk to? How can I help him get over his past?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 7:39pm

Trust your instincts. His past is his to deal with, not yours. Remember you are not his counselor, just a friend. He has to defeat the demons on his own.


If you want something with him, I don't think now is the time.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 10:00pm
You might want to keep your distance so you can avoid being "rebound girl". Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 9:22am
If you want a relationship with him in the future, I'd recommend against being his counselor now. If the two of you finally do get together, it needs to be on even ground.
Trust your instincts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:13pm
Just being his friend right now is the best thing you can do. You can't help him speed the process of his healing. If you try to speed the process, he will only get resentful. As one poster said, if you become his shrink, he'll never see you as a potenial gf.

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