I know I shouldn't have

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
I know I shouldn't have
5
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:52am
I seem to go after the same guys over and over again and get the same results. They are immature and don't know what a relationship is. I like this guy and we have slept together, etc. I know he is interested but how much is too be seen. We work together at a local restaurant a few nights a week. I'm not too worried about the work thing, but the night after we slept together we worked together and he acted wierd. He usually jokes around with me but he was being nice and quiet, I don't think he knew how to act. He left work before me. I gave him a call last night. Just said "Hey, know you are working, don't know what you are doing after work but give me a call if you want. And no call. I know it was just last night and maybe he didn't feel like doing anything. But I have experienced this so much in the past I think I just set myself up again. It sucks. All I can do is just chiil out now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 11:07am

You say:

"I seem to go after the same guys over and over again and get the same results. "

I don't know whether anyone has told you this but the definition of insanity is repetition expecting different results.

You are going to have to change your game to get what you want. Change the type of guy that you go after.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 11:48am
This is the hardest part. I am starting to think I like the neglect, heartache associated with liking what you can't have. Maybe I don't think I deserve a relationship that is true? I don't know what to do. What is done is done. Now I think his actions will speak for themselves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 12:22pm

" I am starting to think I like the neglect, heartache associated with liking what you can't have. Maybe I don't think I deserve a relationship that is true?"

You are probably hitting the nail on the head with your synopsis of your issues.

If you can acknowledge that you are constantly doing things to sabatoge your ability to lead a healthy and productive life, you might want to get some counseling so you can learn what is causing you to do what you do and how you can change your MO.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 1:54pm
I have been going to counseling and have yet to figure out what exactly it is? She keep asking me and we are trying to get to the core of it. It's just very frustrating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 1:58pm
Actually you are doing a pretty good job, you recognized that you have an issue with the type of men you are dating. Keep at it, your counselor is helping you get better and stronger.