I know nothing about Romance. NOTHING!
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I know nothing about Romance. NOTHING!
| Mon, 05-21-2007 - 7:02pm |
Can someone please help me. I was brought up with not much affection from my parents and now I feel like I'm a mess when it comes down to showing how much I like/love a man. I want to be soooooo romantic but I have no idea where to start! I'm not sure I even understand what romantic means (even after I looked it up):( Please, I would really appreciate it if I could get some ideas or advise.

undabeauty...
PG is sad that you were brought up in a "cold household!"
However...I think the best way to learn about romance is to understand the difference between liking and loving someone. All of us can LIKE someone...but true love is usually reserved for one special person. If you keep your expectations to a minimum at the beginning, the likelihood of getting hurt isn't as great!
Problem is...many members of both sexes 'jump into a relationship' TOO QUICKLY...only to realize that they didn't give each other enough time to know one another!
Pianoguy thinks romance with the right person is wonderful...when it's mutual. Try to remember that just because YOU like (or LOVE) someone doesn't necessarily mean the feeling will be reciprocated on his side?
I think if you can TRULY love and respect someone AS A FRIEND FIRST...the odds of 'getting more serious with one another begin to strengthen over time.
Best wishes and warm thoughts...
Pianoguy
There are many books out there that can give you an idea of what romance is and how to go about being more romantic.
Romance is different to different people and women see romance as different than men. While a woman may like flowers, candy and jewelry, a man generally care about those things. From what I have experienced, men don't need alot of romance, they need more passion.
Romance to me is doing the gestures that tell someone that you think about them, care about them and love them. Those gestures are different to different people. To me, doing the small things on a consistent basis means more to me than a big bouquet of flowers once a quarter. So a guy that comes across a button to add to my button collection and actually buys it for me (which costs maybe $1.50), remembers that I like to eat a certain food and keeps it in his house for me, and rubs my neck and shoulders (stress spot!) is more of a winner to me than someone who takes me out for a $200 dinner. I'm big on thoughtfulness and I treat a guy the same way in return. Not every guy is going to appreciate that, but that's why I am no longer married. I would think a guy would like a woman who is thoughtful, but who knows anymore.
When it comes to guys, it all depends on where they are in life. Some guys just want a pretty woman on their arms and regular sex - more like a "useful" type of woman, so no romance is required. The guys that flash the money and status usually attract a woman who is drawn to that in a guy - then the guy turns around and resents his little golddigger but...he attracted her because that is what he wanted her to notice about him. The average guy doesn't want a woman who is attracted to his bank account. Some guys may appreciate romance from a woman (like getting cards, flowers, small gifts)..but I haven't personally experienced a great response to that - so maybe it is not what really means something to them, and I have not gone out of my way to do those things as time has gone on, with no complaints. If a guy likes those things, he'll have to make it a point to tell me, because I'm going to assume that he doesn't like those things. They want a woman to make them feel like "a man" and who knows what that means...really? But they all do appreciate a woman who enjoys sex with them, maybe a massage now and then, preparing a meal for them (for those who can cook), or finding or creating an inventive gift on their birthday or something like that.
Hope this helps.
Hi undabeauty,
Try the book Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.