I love him...should I tell him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
I love him...should I tell him?
5
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 1:30pm
My best friend is Alex. We go to college together and our friends call us "Harry and Sally" because we're very close and have a very special bond. The thing is, I have been in love with him from the moment I saw him.

When Alex and I first met, we had a more sexual than platonic relationship, even though we never had sex. As we got to know each other better, we realized that our bond was much deeper than sexual attraction and he started calling me his best friend.

As the year progressed, our bond became even stronger. We stayed up all night talking and laughing and drinking. He became something of a hero to me, since he was always there for me when I was too drunk or too depressed or too stressed. He rescued me from creepy guys at parties and stood up for me when they harassed me. One night, a guy slipped something in my drink. I ended up having a bad reaction to it, and Alex took me home and held me in his arms until I came down from it. It was inevitable that I would fall even harder.

This past winter, I made the mistake of confessing my love to him while I was totally and completely wasted. He gently told me that he didn't see our relationship in a romantic way anymore and I was heartbroken. I thought our friendship was ruined. Alex, however, as a true friend, told me that he was willing to ride off my feelings as a drunken mistake and forget about the whole thing. Since I didn't want to lose him, I agreed.

As spring came along, we became even better friends and spent even more time together. One night, we were in his room and he began to play my favorite song on the guitar. I was surprised because I had only told him once, long ago, that I loved that song. He said he had been learning to play it ever since. I was so touched that I kissed him quickly on the mouth. I didn't think he would respond to it, but he set his guitar down and wrapped me up in a passionate kiss that lasted for the rest of the night.

Since then, every time we get together we end up getting very passionate with each other. After a big fight last month, I confessed that I couldn't stand him being mad at me. We ended up having amazing sex, to the great delight of our friends (they found out when I accidentally left my phone in his room and he answered my calls). To quote the movie "When Harry Met Sally" things like "They did it!" and "Finally!" were being said all week. Unlike Harry and Sally, though, we held each other and kissed all night after we had sex. Things had progressed much more than I expected them to.

BUT...as for the big question...should I tell Alex that I love him(sober)? I'm afraid he'll have the same answer for me as the first time and I'll just be heartbroken again. What should I do? Is it worth the risk or should I just move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 3:04pm
Oh my goodness. Sounds like a fairy tale. Telling somene you love them is always a huge risk, but what if something happened and you never got the chance to say it? If it was me, I would jump off that building (tell him). Hes obviously been waiting on the sidewalk to catch you for quite sometime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 3:45pm
Hi,

I have to agree with the other poster... this is like a fairy tale or as I see it, a great romance novel in the making. I loved reading your story and only wish it would go on... when you write the book, I will buy it! SMILE

Anyhow, I think this guy has changed his mind about the just friends deal and was waiting for that move that you made when he was playing his guitar. Tell him how you feel, I think he will respond in kind. Best of luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 7:16pm
Im going to have to go with, let him tell you. Let him feel like the hero. And let him lead. Why i say this is because with the history between you two, hes the one who needs to figure this out. So, he will in time. I am 110% sure he is in love with you, loves you. Without even knowing you two, I know this as do your friends. So be patient. He will tell you sooner or later.

If you want to speed it up some, date another guy. Gush about this guy. Men can only see that they care (sometimes) about someone until they fear losing them. And by you dating someone, he'll feel like hes lost you. Just like in when harry met sally :)

(i hope this works out, i had the same experience with my male best friend except it didnt turn out like th movie, ug. But I know this guy i s a much better person than my former best friend)

Best wishes. -S

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 10:04am
WOW!! Cinderella you are! Awesome story, awesome post--I agree with people who say-tell him---but sit down and have a long talk--don't blurt out---I love you! Enjoy this--no matter how it turns out in the end--sounds like this may be "the love of your life". It's really nice to hear about one of the "good" guys in here instead of all the bad they do!! You are one lucky girl :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 2:11pm
Thanks you guys. I've decided to take this process slow and to not blurt out that I love him. I think I might take the advice of dating someone else to see how he reacts and yes, I am going to enjoy this for as long as I can. I do believe that Alex is the love of my life and I can't wait to see what happens.

Thanks everyone. I'll keep you posted.