I messed up big time!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
I messed up big time!!!!!!!!!
3
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 8:34pm
So I met a guy a year ago... He was so nice and sweet... to make a long story short he he had a rule before he decided if he wanted a relationship he had to see how the sex was.. I was always scared to get involved with him because of that rule..I was hesitant.. He has been around a year.. and to be honest I am not proud to say but I have put him through hell was mean and nasty and caused ridiculous fights.. instead of giving him a chance I teased him and pushed him away. So my purpose in writing this is I did a very bad thing saturday night.. we were fooling around and almost had sex ( i say almost because I freaked out at the last minute.. He told me afterwards that if I stopped trying to plan everything and just let things happen we would have already been together.. That was saturday.. I texted him yesterday to apologize for the events that occured and he said that we were done because I play too many games... i want to fix this but I have no idea how.... I always thought he was after me for just sex ( but dont you agree if he was he would have been done with me a year ago... and also that he wouldnt be so hurt by what I have done..I know its confusing trust me I am living it.. I want to be with him more then anything I need some advice on how to fix this....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 8:54pm

I think your gut may be telling you something that the rest of you isn't listening to. No guy I've ever met who was truly interested in a relationship had to have sex beforehand in order to know if they wanted to be with the girl. Sure, we all wonder if it will be good but to have it as a requirement? Come on.


Trust your instincts here... what are they saying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:51am
You didn't mess up he messed up for what guy tells a girl " we can have sex 1st if your lousy bye if your great I will stay " that is no fun and its no wonder you felt pressure I felt pressure reading that statement and I am not even with the guy ! I think you did the right thing I see what your saying "doesnt he care for he stayed for a yr" well if he really cared about you he would continue to stay and your not playing games it sounds like he was the one playing games in this situation what you did was the right thing !

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 1:35pm

I think there may have been games played on both ends here. The OP played some games by hanging onto him to see if he would stick around without sex. Truly if the OP wasn't comfortable with that, she should have ended it once he said that.


There's always 2 sides to a story and it takes 2 to tango, each party has to be responsible for their side of things, ya know?