I messed up big time

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
I messed up big time
8
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 8:33pm
edit


Edited 6/7/2004 12:15 am ET ET by jannalin82
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 9:50pm

Hello jannalin!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 1:08am
Thank you for putting that so nicely - I'm sure I deserved something worse than that! I already called him and left a message apologizing but I haven't heard from him. I'd like to call again and maybe offer a better explanation but is that a bad idea? And if I do call him, how long should I wait? I have to talk to him!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 1:25am
You have already called him and apologized... the next move is his. Do not call him again or it will make you appear desparate... He has heard your apology but not it is his choice whether to accept it and make amends or not.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 9:55am
Terry has given you excellent advice.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 12:04pm
I've been in your position before and it was very uncomfortable but it was an opportunity to assess how I handle disappointment and hopefully do it differently in the future. You did'nt win any style points with this guy and I did'nt either. It seems like you were intensely attracted to him and your hopes and desires were moving faster than his ability to respond and reciprocate. Our impatience and intense feelings may have cost us that one guy we were really hoping to know. I unconsciously assumed (never a good thing!) that he wanted the same thing - he did'nt or changed his mind at some point and my reaction of anger and disappointment pushed him away completely. I don't think the feelings of disappointment were wrong because feelings just are, but in retrospect I wish I had been able to tell myself don't say or do anything at that point. I wrote a couple unreplied-to apology notes, then realized it was history for him. I think my anger stemmed from the fact that I wished he had not accepted a date with me or acted romantically with me in the first place because I could'nt help but think he was feeling something for me so it really "got me started". But people can change course at any time. Now I try to make a commitment to manage those emotions in a more calm, rational way. Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 11:34am
Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I agree 100% with everything you have said. On the other hand though, I don't have anything to lose by calling him again, especially since I haven't heard from him anyways. I know it may be a bad idea but isn't it worth one more try if I am really into this guy? I can't stop thinking about him and no one can compare to him...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 11:47am
It seems that you are intent on calling him again... there are reasons why we have suggested that you not call...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 12:57pm
What outcomes do you honestly expect by calling him again? Carefully consider the consequences of your actions BEFORE you end up creating even more turmoil in your life.

What he will most likely see is a woman pestering him that is incapable of managing her own upsets and emotions. He will see an emotional rollercoaster - a ride that he does not want to take.