I met this guy online...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
I met this guy online...
12
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 11:21am

I met this guy online...It is so weird... So far we haven't talked on the phone or met yet. But we have been chatting online every day for a week. We have a great online rapport.

We have ALOT of things in common, for example - we have daughters the same age, we live close to each other, we used to live in the same area, we both used to work in the same area, we both have same parenting beliefs, creative, within same age range, our astrological signs are very compatible (heheh).... I could go on...

But the one thing in common that both freaked us out is that he has been to my work for business and has seen me! I've never seen him before (or can't remember).

We were supposed to meet for lunch this past Friday, but a tragedy happened in his family and he had to postpone our lunch. He shared a family picture with me so I was touched... He appreciated that I was so understanding.

I hope our chances are good and we click in person...

I don't know what I'm really asking... Just wondering if this is fate and if we were supposed to meet. Thats what I told him - we were meant to meet...

Edit: I posted this on the wrong board in error.

Edited 9/30/2006 12:52 pm ET by reggielicious




Edited 9/30/2006 12:53 pm ET by reggielicious

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 12:53pm

Ok...IMO, you are putting WAY too much pressure on this meet by having that "meant to be" attitude. How about taking the pressure off by changing your mindset to, "IF this is meant to be, it'll work out"?

You need to remember that nothing is real until you meet in person, and that the only way to truly get to know someone is to spend time with that person, IN person. Are you new to online dating? I ask because you're falling into the trap that many newbies do...having a false sense of intimacy from too much contact prior to meeting.

I hope your first meet gets rescheduled soon, and that it goes well, but slow yourself down!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:29pm
No I don't think I'm jumping the gun. I just think its so weird that we have so much in common. Even he is freaked by it. And no, I'm not moving too fast. We still have to meet to decide if we click or not. So far, we get along great online. I'm not putting too much pressure in meeting him. I look forward to meeting him since he sounds like a really nice guy but I'm not already head over heels. That would be crazy. Whatever happens, happens. I'm not new to online dating so I am very aware meeting the person is way different from online.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:36pm

You know what I think is wrong with the world today? All of us are so scared of being excited about someone new because we're afraid to get hurt.


I think it's great that you're excited. I do believe that people are meant to come into our lives for reasons, not necessarily to get married, but for a reason nonetheless.


Since you're not new to online dating, you know how to keep your head together.


All I say is good luck and let us know how that first meet goes. Have you seen him yet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:43pm

I have some pictures of him (he sent one of him and his family to me). He said he has seen me that one time he came into the office...but it was awhile ago so I'm sure its iffy for him too.

Yeah, we both got pretty excited when we started checking off all these coincidences. He appears easygoing and so am I so we are able to joke about this and not take things out of hand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:53pm
So when are you meeting??? :o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 1:58pm
Lol. His father just passed away (thats why our lunch was postponed). So I'll just wait til he gets back and when he is ready to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 2:07pm
Gotcha. Well good luck! And definitely come back to tell us what happened... ;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 2:34pm
I would just be cautious! It's ok to be excited, but since you haven't met him in person yet you really don't know him yet, so there is no way to know if it's meant to be. Relationships take time and work, and people aren't always honest online. So, I'm not saying it can't work out, just try and relax, but keep your eyes open when you do meet him and good luck! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:25pm

Just a word of caution. When I was meeting guys in on-line chat rooms, I had one guy lie to me and tell me everything I wanted to hear. My best friend had the same thing happen to her. Even my brother admitted that he had sometimes done the same things with girls as a game. I am not saying that is necessarily the case in your situation, but I would advise you to just be cautious until you got to know him better.

One thing I would also pay attention is whether you would only find out he had stuff in common with you after he found out the thing about you. For example, does he just mention having a daughter the same age as you after you've already mentioned your own daughter? If almost everything he has in common with you is something he mentioned after he already knew about you, then I would be suspicious.

I also had an experience where I chatted on-line with a guy I'd met in person before. When we spoke on-line we were really amazed with how much we had in common. In that case, we really did have a lot in common. When we tried date after that though, the chemistry and physical attraction just wasn't there.

That is not to say that things might not happen for you with this guy. Just be cautious and follow all of the typical advice for meeting somebody from on-line. Meet in a busy public place first. Don't go to his house until you've had more of an opportunity to get to know him, all of that. Good luck with this.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:29pm

Hmmm...ok, if you say so ;-). I guess the whole "we must be fated to meet" thing has a different connotation to you than it does to me! To me, that sounds like a whole lot of pressure but I must be taking it differently than you mean it.

Sheri

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