I met him - now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2013
I met him - now what?
Sat, 06-08-2013 - 8:04pm

In January, I met a man whom I think is my ideal partner.  I do not say this lightly - I've been single-again for nearly 18 years.  

I do not wish to remarry.  I am looking to create an LTR with this man - that lasts until the day we die.  I do not want a piece of his assets - I don't want to create a pre-nup to protect mine - I am past wanting babies (mine is all grown up now) and he never had any.  

We live in different parts of the world, but both live a very high intensity, lots of travel lifestyle, so it's not as big of a deal as it might be for some others.

I am an extrovert.  I am in sales and marketing.  I have a spiritual life that is important to me, and a deep need to spend ample time alone to recharge my extrovert batteries.  

He is an introvert. He's in high finance. He also has an active spiritual life, and a deep need to spend ample time alone.

For me, it was a crush at first site.  I do not know what it was for him.  But the conference where we met had us do some role playing, and he and I pretended to be lovers in a skit.  During rehearsal, I think I made it pretty clear that that's what I wanted in real life.  Here's the problem:  he's a little slow about "girls".  He grew up in a weird way, and probably has little experience dating (or sexually).  I have more than enough experience of both for the two of us, and I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy "teaching" him how to enjoy his own body and mine in novel ways.

I just don't know how to get the chance.  I know he likes me. He compliments in a sort of awkward schoolboy way. He makes sure we stay in touch on Skype.  He responds kindly to me.  He makes an effort, but not a grand romantic gesture.  It's sort of Blondie and Dagwood with us, although I think he's insanely handsome.  I want to be with him!  I want to make love with him!  I want him to get out of his head and into me.  I need help, though!  How do I effectively seduce someone who lives so far away, so that he can realize how much he wants to be with me?  Where do I start without shocking the nerd-part of him into oblivion?

I've dated lots of other nerds - my preferred type.  Once I get them naked, I can usually create an addiction.  But in this one's case, getting to that first step is proving to be my greatest geographical challenge....help! help! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 06-08-2013 - 11:30pm

What's wrong with being honest and upfront with him?  If you tell him what you want, you'll surely find out if he wants the same, or if he isn't interested.  Game playing isn't honest, and you might just chase him away before he realizes what you're looking for.  What you're proposing is a way of "trapping" him and he miight not want to be trapped.  Do yourself a favor, and tell him what you want, and find out if he wants the same.  If not, move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 06-09-2013 - 11:21am

I'd work on trying to get to meet him in person again--then once you're together you can try to get something physical to develop.  I think it would be awkward to try to ask someone that over email or Skype.