I moved away! Why is he doing this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
I moved away! Why is he doing this?
5
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 10:45pm

I was seeing a guy 2 years ago and our relationship was not serious although I hoped it would eventually  be.

I  was going to school in another country and moved back to the US after graduation last year.

my ex guy emails me the other day and asks how am I doing etc. he also got on my case (in a friendly way) to say that I have not kept in touch with him during the 6 months since we last spoke.  He also said he missed me after he asked did I miss him. The thing is I wanted to see him before I moved and he had 2 chances to meet me on 2 different occassions but I could not reach him........

 so I figured that he moved on along with the fact that I was moving back here... I assumed he was no longer enthusiastic about us.

 

 

What do you think about his motivations.

I am in a position to move back to the other country because my work permit is still valid  but I would need to know French to get a good job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Sat, 01-05-2013 - 5:37pm
Right what does he have in mind. and are his prospects that boring there that he is contacting me? I think he likes me as a person which is good i'll take that over something shallow like just sex
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Sat, 01-05-2013 - 5:35pm
I don't think I would just hop up and move back without more actions from him that are self motivated by him. it just caught me off guard but its good to have a friend in him he is a nice guy regardless
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 10:05am
Yes, he had two years of not being serious, so he may be open to you coming back for more time of not being serious. What could be seen as possibly having magically changed? The guy let 6 months float by plus he wasn't even motivated enough to say he missed you first, you had to say it.
 
You had it right, he moved on, but probably didn't find good prospects so he's back fishing at your door.
 
However, my biggest concern for you is the fact that one email is enough to have you thinking of a major life decision of moving back. That says that you're way more into this guy than for any rational thinking to be happening. Whatever your decision, it should be based on thought of what is best for you, rather than emotion.
 
It would be reasonable to tell him that you are still settling back in, and getting your life in order, so you won't be doing email much. In other words, cut the emails to him for now. Give yourself some time away from this and see where life takes you as far as opportunities before you make any decisions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Tue, 12-25-2012 - 9:00pm

Good luck in whatever you end up going with but long distance relationships are pretty tough if both people aren't committed to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-24-2012 - 3:44pm

Well I know that I wouldn't be making plans to move to another country based on one email.  He might miss you as a friend or he might want to rekindle the relationship but you need to find out more info--from him.  We can only guess what he might have in mind.