I Need Advice....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
I Need Advice....
3
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 5:02pm
Okay, so me and my boyfriend broke up. The reason is that he needs time to think things over. He wants to think about our relationship and it's future. He doesn't want to get hurt since he's afraid I might move away or something. He says that he promises that he will be back but he doesn't know when. He wants to be with me and he still says he loves me. He wants to talk to me and he wants me to keep in touch with him. I am having a promblem with understanding why he needs to think about us if he really wants things to work out. This doesn't make any sense to me and it is confussing me because it still feels like we are dating. WE do not see each other often, but so far we have talked a lot. What should I do? Should I wait for him to figure things out or should I forget about him all together and move on? Please help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: zoogurl
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:17pm

How long were you together? What's the reason for the need for thought? Did something occur? A few more details might help pinpoint the advice we can give you...


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
In reply to: zoogurl
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:45pm
We dated for 2 months. It recently started with a joke that we played on each other. He didn't take my joke that I played on him too well. I told him that someone told me that you were seeing another girl. Then, I asked him was that true. I finally told him that it was a joke because the one that he played on me hurt my feelings, but I got over it. He got so mad at my joke. He then doesn't like the fact that our relationship is long distance, but it is going to be long distance for long (only 7 weeks). I told him that and he still wants to think. He wants to think about how to make the relationship better and thinking about the future. He told me that he doesn't want to get hurt again. I told him that I wasn't going to leave town anymore because I have gotten so homesick over the past year. He said me being in town makes him feel a little better, but he still needs time. THen, he said something like he could have a full time girl and not a part time girl friend when I returned back in town for good. He did promise to me that he would come back since he doesn't want a girl like me walking outta his life. He says he loves me, wants this to work, and he wants to be with me. We still talk on the phone and I visit him may be once a week. He cuddles me and acts as if we are together, but we are not. I'm confused about his behavior. He says that he doesn't know why he has to think. He seems happy and I am not. What is going on? I did tell him that I would wait for him, but I do not want to wait for sometihng that may not come back. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: zoogurl
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:50pm

I would back off a bit. Us girls have a tendency of chasing after guys when they ask for time or space. I would let him have his time but show him that you're going on and living your life. Lessen your calls, not to the point of never speaking with him, but to the point where you're not at his beck and call.


I truly believe that things that are meant to be will be. If you let him go a bit and he returns, then great. But if he doesn't, you know that his intentions may not have been as serious as you had hoped.


Hope this helps. Keep us posted...