I need advice desperately!
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I need advice desperately!
| Mon, 04-12-2004 - 8:53am |
I need advice about an issue: OKay here is the story:
My booyfriend and I started dating 11 months ago. He was 19 and I was 22. He was in college and I took a semester off. We were perfect together. Everyone we knew & even people we didn't know always said we were the perfect couple. There was a connection that you just don't find with just anyone. I would pick up the phone to call him and he would already be on the line without if ever ringing. We would do same things and have same thoughts at the same time always. You know it just felt right. We only had like 4 arguments in a year. Well last Thursday he had to study and I went out and he came & met up with me. & when we were leaving he said we had to talk. He said he needed space. He still loved and was attracted to me but felt smothered. So i didn't stay with him that night. But I called him a thousand times. He didn't answer because he was asleep. But the next day he called when he woke up. We saw each other Friday night because we went to a party and we hung out some. On saturday morning I woke up early and called him and he answered and we talked forever and I went over there. So for the rest of the day I called him a thousand times again. He talked to me once or twice. & we hung out at a mutual friends house saturday night. & we were cool we acted just like best friends, even though I am devastated I played it cool. But I wonder why he could act like I was his friend and that we didn't have a relationship for the past 11 months. So I called him yesterday a hundred times. & we talked once & i irritated him so he hung up. So i texted him a few times and he responded but the last time I texted him I told him that i knew that i was driving him crazy and I would stop calling if he wrote me back to tell me he love(d) me. He never wrote back. That was the last time I tried to contact him. & I haven't heard from him since. So I was wondering does anyone think I might have ruined my chances with him forever because I kept calling repeatedly over & over like a lunatic? Or do you think he can ignore that fact if I quit now and go & get my stuff from his house when he isn't there? Will that make him forget my lunatic ways and make him feel the shower of love for me again if I truly am gone and give him his space? I also irritated him everytime we talked by asking a million questions. He says he doesn't want to see other people and just doesn't want a relationship & just wants to be single. He says he doesn't know whether or not we could ever be together again because he can't see into the future. But he says it could possibly happen ( is that to appease me?) & he said he wants to be friends. HE said he truly loved me and was happy but he needed space... mind you he didn't want to just take a break though. I just feel like I drove him away for good b/c I annoyed him for 3 days. Does anybody have an opinion on this matter. I mean I can't eat or sleep, which is my 2 favorite things to do. I am heart broken. But I feel in my heart that he is the one & I know that at one time he felt the same...so what gives? Thank you
My booyfriend and I started dating 11 months ago. He was 19 and I was 22. He was in college and I took a semester off. We were perfect together. Everyone we knew & even people we didn't know always said we were the perfect couple. There was a connection that you just don't find with just anyone. I would pick up the phone to call him and he would already be on the line without if ever ringing. We would do same things and have same thoughts at the same time always. You know it just felt right. We only had like 4 arguments in a year. Well last Thursday he had to study and I went out and he came & met up with me. & when we were leaving he said we had to talk. He said he needed space. He still loved and was attracted to me but felt smothered. So i didn't stay with him that night. But I called him a thousand times. He didn't answer because he was asleep. But the next day he called when he woke up. We saw each other Friday night because we went to a party and we hung out some. On saturday morning I woke up early and called him and he answered and we talked forever and I went over there. So for the rest of the day I called him a thousand times again. He talked to me once or twice. & we hung out at a mutual friends house saturday night. & we were cool we acted just like best friends, even though I am devastated I played it cool. But I wonder why he could act like I was his friend and that we didn't have a relationship for the past 11 months. So I called him yesterday a hundred times. & we talked once & i irritated him so he hung up. So i texted him a few times and he responded but the last time I texted him I told him that i knew that i was driving him crazy and I would stop calling if he wrote me back to tell me he love(d) me. He never wrote back. That was the last time I tried to contact him. & I haven't heard from him since. So I was wondering does anyone think I might have ruined my chances with him forever because I kept calling repeatedly over & over like a lunatic? Or do you think he can ignore that fact if I quit now and go & get my stuff from his house when he isn't there? Will that make him forget my lunatic ways and make him feel the shower of love for me again if I truly am gone and give him his space? I also irritated him everytime we talked by asking a million questions. He says he doesn't want to see other people and just doesn't want a relationship & just wants to be single. He says he doesn't know whether or not we could ever be together again because he can't see into the future. But he says it could possibly happen ( is that to appease me?) & he said he wants to be friends. HE said he truly loved me and was happy but he needed space... mind you he didn't want to just take a break though. I just feel like I drove him away for good b/c I annoyed him for 3 days. Does anybody have an opinion on this matter. I mean I can't eat or sleep, which is my 2 favorite things to do. I am heart broken. But I feel in my heart that he is the one & I know that at one time he felt the same...so what gives? Thank you

It sounds like he got a little scared. He is very young - and maybe doesn't want to be tied down just yet. That doesn't mean that he doesn't still love you but he might need some time to himself to think about what he wants and maybe even meet other girls to see what is out there - sometimes you have to let them go for them to realize what they had. Calling him repeatedlly when he asked for space is not good *(I am guilty of the same)... it's hard to do, but you have to give him space. Don't call or contact him for a week and see what he does. Then, maybe send a short email asking how he was and leave it at that. I know it sucks, I lost a guy of my dreams this weekend too. But when the sick feeling in your stomach goes away, life will be good again : ) Just remember, give him some space and he will respect you more.