I need advice, help me please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
I need advice, help me please!!
3
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 12:52am

Hello

I need some advice; I'm 21 years old and I've never been on a date, been kissed, or had sex for that matter. All of my friends have done those things already and I feel like something is wrong with me. Is it normal for a girl of my age to be like this? I feel like I'll never be asked out or even get kissed by a guy I like... I hear about stories of girls when they are 15 and 16 saying that they've already kissed and have been on many dates. It makes me wonder if I'm too late or if love will ever find me. I guess I'll be a really late bloomer when it comes to dating, but is this normal then? Or should most girls have already dated by my age? Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 2:55am

Hi there!

I was 22 when I first had sex (got kissed, asked on a date, etc.). And believe me, it didn't affect my dating/sexual life later on. Actaully, I wished I didn't rushed it (my first guy was not a good match at all, to say the least). Am I less happy for it? Absolutely no! I am 32. Single for the last 1.5 years (after an almost 8 year long relationship -- not with my first guy, mind you; a guy I met 3 years later; after I broke up with him, I had another relationship, for about 6 mo.) Please udnerstand: there is nothing wrong with you , as there was nothing wrong with me, and I was much happier later just becasue I didn't go for whoever. And yes, guys didn't ask me out either; Now, I think, I am pretty hot commodity! ;) May be, as my friends said, I was too precaucious for them; may be they could feel I was looking for something else.. it doesn't matter. It is not about looks, it is about many things, and whether you are asked out a lot or not, I think, plays no role in your overall happiness with guys now or later on in life. Take it from me; happy to be single and looking, even though I have been in relationships!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 9:00am

jemjammer...

Pianoguy (who is a 100% heterosexual male) would like to toss a thought or two in your direction...if that's okay?

WHY WOMEN (or MEN) have to make 'sexual comparisons' with each other puzzles the hell out of me? Whoever handed you the line that you've got to have SEX before the age of 21 is probably pregnant...or has been on the receiving end of more than one BAD RELATIONSHIP?

Love often finds people when they AREN'T LOOKING FOR IT! So why not approach this issue without feeling like you've failed?

Simply because...YOU HAVEN'T! There's somebody special waiting to meet you. He just hasn't discovered you.....YET!

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 1:31pm
You're only 21 and I mean ONLY. This doesn't qualify as late bloomer status. You really do a full life ahead of you and I'm sure there'll be plenty of love. But why dont you see if friends have anyone they can fix you up with, or go to seminars, etc,perhaps cautiously try on line dating and get your toes wet. But you're fine. Truly.
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