I need serious help with my relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2006
I need serious help with my relationship
13
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 3:29am

Hello if you wouldnt mind plz tell me how you really feel about my relationship and what i/we can do to fix it.....

I have a jealousy problem and i am overcontroling.....My last 2 gf's have cheatd on me and it is effecting me in this relationship because I do not want to get hurt again....I love my girlfriend more than anything...i would give anything do anything for her and to be with her forever...Ive always had the feeling that she is still in love with her ex boyfriend who is like her best friend now...they broke up bc he went over to Iraq and he said he didnt want to get hurt if something happend to him....so i came along and i feel like she still has feelings for him even tho i ask her and she tells me no...but would she really say yes?? But i feel that i am just a stand in until he gets back.....she tells me she loves me but i dont feel it, i feel that love is a 2 way road and both sides have to make sacrafices but she hasnt done anything....all she does is lie to me. She has lied to me on several...several occasions....

One of the ones i will bring up is one night she told me she wasnted to go to bed...she then called another of her ex bf's and they talked for 40 min then i called her and she told me she was asleep which i didnt belive and she said she was really tired and then she called him back.....is that right? Umm the way i found out i looked at her cell phone bill.....was that right??? i mean i know it shows no trust but she had been lieng and keeping things from me ALOT so how could i trust her?

She also has all guy friends and no girl friends...is that ok? Im jealous and overprotective and i need your help I dont know if its ok for her to have all these guys frineds....isnt it true that all guys want more than friendships with girls....if its not then why cant the quaterback in high school be friends with the fat nerd girl??? Its bc hes not attracted to her.....I just feel that guys and girls arent supposed to be friends.....I just dont know about letting them hang out..last time she went to a guys house they were gnna do some homework but hey didnt finish bc she helped him with his trruck and they went shopping with his mom....should i let her hang out with other guys that i dont know?

Laslty i tested my gf...i made a myspace acct and a new sn and i acted like a guy who wanted to be her friend....after like 2 days of talking i got her to say she would sleep with me and cheat on..well me lol.....after this i told her it was me....she now tells me she didnt mean it that she just said it to make the guy go away.....but she set up a date..she told him if my boyfriend works next thursday we can do all the stuff we talked about.....who is at fault here? Also bc of this i have been reading her emails and checkin her phone.....is this wrong bc i dont trust her...she has givin me nothing to trust...trust has to be earned right? and it is easily lost.....Will someone plz help me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 7:00pm
Honey, hockyman's girlfriend's guy friend was her ex boyfriend, she was evidently in love with him at one time, Would you want your boyfriend to be friends with his ex? If you don't mind this, you might be one of those people who are called 'swingers'. You can't expect the rest of us to be like you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 7:05pm
Honey, I'm happy that I could help you. You deserve much happiness and remember, you teach people how to treat you. Be kind to yourself, and find others who treat you with respect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 9:55am
Uh sorry, you are way off base about me. I am not a "swinger", that was actually funny to me becuase I have the highest of morals. I am a virgin. Boy were you wrong. Obviously I have never slept with any one including any of my dear guy friends. In this day and age it is common to have friends of the opposite sex, even if they want more it is up to both people to feel that way and do it. One sided feelings don't go anywhere.

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