I need some advice, please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
I need some advice, please
4
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 4:40pm

Hello everyone,

I have been dating this guy for three months and he seems nice person. I am confussed and scared at the same time of dating. I have been dumped few times I think I was missing the red flugs. I don't want to do that again.
This guy told me I am the only one he is dating and he enjoys my company. For me that is not the only thing I am looking in this three months dating. I should meet his family I only met last week his friend. I never seen his home. We are not intimate yet(I am ok with that). We see each other almost everyweek and he calls once or twice a week.

When is the right time to meet his family?
What is not normal in this relationship?
Can I ask him why he didn't invite me to his house yet?

Thanks everyone.
Rube

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 5:19pm

Some guys I feel takes forever to meet family I am dating someone and he has not met my family yet but perhaps by next yr only because Im going thru a divorce and my family members may be worried that I am already dating :) but in your case you should talk to him and ask him when he feels is a good time will be to meet your family at least you met his friend so far maybe this guy is taking his time with you so when you do meet his family it will be comfortable for you and for him talk to him and go from there HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 6:49pm

Meeting the family is whenever both are comfortable doing it. Three months still seems early. You both are getting to know each other so take things slow and nice. You should not be worried at this stage. It's nice that you have met his friend.

Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 7:35pm

Thank you for encouragement,

I agree with both response I recieved today. I am too scared and paranoid because of my past experience. What concerning me is when we met the first time he told me he is looking for a caring person and I was looking the same too. Two weeks ago I had surgery and I was expecting his phone call to ask how I was doing, and never called he just e-mailed me. I asked why didn't call me and he said well some people they don't like to use the phone when they're in pain. I felt he didn't care about me. We went out last week he was asking me over and over if I was ok.

And I am thinking about if he wasn't interested why should he let me meet his friend?
What do you think?

Rube.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 10:36pm

I am a big believer in seeing the home of the men I date. How a house is kept and who he lives with is very telling. Don't ask why you haven't seen his place, just tell him, "I would love to see your home." and then see what he says.

As far as the family is concerned, if he is over at their place every weekend then it would be logical for him to invite you at one point. But if he doesn't see them that often I wouldn't push it.

I don't know what is not normal because I don't know both of you.