I need some major advice
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I need some major advice
| Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:11pm |
Hey everyone I need your help. I recently moved about 7 months ago. The guy downstairs, who lives with his mother, liked me from the day we met. At first I was a little shy and didnt talk to him, even though he would always say hi to me and him and his friend would stare at me while I was walking upstairs, making me very nervous. At the time I was seeing someone, but things didnt work out. The guy downstairs was always asking me to go to eat with him and things like that. When I stopped seeing the other guy, I finally agreed to go out with the guy downstairs. I had always kinda liked him, but wouldnt admit it to anyone, even myself. We went out to eat once before me and the other guy broke up, but it was just as friends. But I have always felt some kind of spark or chemistry between us. So we went out around the end of October and had a great time and I guess we've been dating since. We are taking things very slow, which is new for me, most guys just seem to want just sex, but not him. He is very good to me and I get along great with his family, a fact that he likes because he tells me all the time. My problem is, that he is very busy, and always asking me to do things with him, and then just not going. He always has some reason, but it confuses me all the same. He seems to be making all these plans for us, going camping next summer, and even asks my opinion on where he might move eventually. He lets me in on his work, he's starting his own company with his mom, and they ask my opinions on everything. But Im just so confused by him asking me to go out, and then not going, its like do you want to be with me or what, or is he just scared? The other girls he dated appear to be crazy, one was even stalking him. He said that was the reason he stopped dating, but then why did he ask me out? He knows im not like them, so what's the problem. We get along great, no arguments at all and see each other every day. Im just kinda confused about what to do about him not going out after asking me, and any advice would be great because I like him alot and I cant say no to him, or even stay mad at him for a minute, pathetic I know but I cant help it. I've never felt this intensity with someone else before. When he looks in my eyes, it takes my breath away,and the rest of the world just disappears. My best friend says that he looks at me like Im the best thing he's ever seen and she saw him hug me like he hadnt seen me in forever, when it had only been a few hours, so I know its not one sided. I know he has alot on his mind with this new company and all the work that's involved with it, they work on it all day and some at nigh. It scares me a whole lot because sometimes i think im just looking to find reasons not to get hurt again and maybe i might end up sabotoging our relationship. Any comments would be greatly appreciated!

This man enjoys talking about dates, planning dates and getting your hopes up. He's just not that good at the execution.
Either start planning dates yourself so they happen or assume your relationship will be dateless.
shannie28...
Pianoguy believes that 2 CONSECUTIVE invitations and 2 CONSECUTIVE turn-downs are plenty! If you're invited out and then rejected a 3rd time...that doesn't say much about your b/f's character, does it?
A man usually doesn't ask a woman out...only to 'back out of the deal' a day or two later?
Granted...'unavoidable situations' can occur at the last minute. But if his pattern of "letting you down" keeps repeating itself...you're probably going to become 'more than a little frustrated' with him?
Next time your b/f comes up with additional "long range future plans" for the 2 of you---politely tell him that you'd appreciate it if he'd KEEP his present ones instead?
You might have to bring this subject up a few times, but one of 2 things will happen:
A. He'll seriously take your feelings into consideration...or
B. Risk the possibility of LOSING YOU?
And if the man REALLY loves you as much as you said he does...HIS LOSS WILL BE GREATER THAN YOURS!
Pianoguy