i need some male feedback
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| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 2:51pm |
it has been 3 months since i've started seeing this guy. we now see each other every single day, i sleep over fri night and saturday nights because weekdays we both need to get to work (him earlier than me).
right now things are very stressful for him. but it seems when he is relaxed he has no problems hanging out with me every single day, hours at a time. when he gets overwhelmed, he gets moody, and if he asks me for help but i can't help him (i do try) he gets even more frustrated.
he is a very attractive guy and i think he is confident enough to know that (girls always try to flirt). he has told me he likes me alot, wants things to work out (when we have little arguments), but he wants dating to be fun (as it should be). for some reason he has already mentioned that he isn't going to marry me (i can't think of marriage at this point in life either) so i am guessing he is afraid i might get too serious. i've told him i am NOT thinking of marriage...
i already had the exclusivity talk, telling him i don't want him seeing/dating/hooking up with other girls. he told me he would never do something like that to me, he would never cheat, and would make sure he told me if he wanted to date other girls. however, he said, he doesn't want to be chained down and that this isn't "forever." again, i was thinking, i am not talking about marriage...
i do feel like i'm chasing him. i admit i am very attached.
but then again, if i don't pay attention to him at a party, he will eventually come to me, hold my hand, pull me aside from everyone else etc. while he had just told people "we hang out" he recently told someone that he is dating me. even if he said he wanted to get work done before we hung out again (which isprobably a couple of days), he made sure to call me.
my friends (female) believe that he doesn't treat me right, that stress is not an excuse to take it out on me by making sarcastic comments about my inability to help.
he says that i shouldn't over analyze and stop reading into things, thati shouldn't take things (like if he doesn't call me back right away) personally.
i felt like i'm overanalyzing, and after his phone call last night (i didnt ask him to call me and this was the day after he told me we shouldn't hang out till he finished this)i felt pretty good about our relationship. obviously he has his career to worry about right now and its his #1 priority, but i feel he is doing a good job spending time with me...at the 3 month time point, i don't think i could expect to be his #1 priority at an important time in his career.
i think he does like me. maybe not as much as i like him...but is there anything i should worry about? maybe i want a relationship more than he does, but if we like each other, shouldn't that be enough to stay in a relationship?
what do you all think?

MB
A few things bothered me:
"and if he asks me for help but i can't help him (i do try) he gets even more frustrated."- what does he ask for help in? does he help you out whenever you need help?
"i sleep over fri night and saturday nights because weekdays we both need to get to work (him earlier than me)." -is there a reason why YOU are the only one making the trip to sleep over?
"while he had just told people "we hang out" he recently told someone that he is dating me." - that alone should be a big clue about how he feels, you are just the *for now* person and not the *one*. You should not stay in it just to stay in it, that's not a good reason and you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to find yourself YOUR *one*.
Maybe you do want something more. If you spend most of the week seeing each other, what more can you expect? If you can't help him with his moodiness and he gets mad, he isn't being fair now is he.
He has his quirks and if you want to be in a relationship with him, you will have to except them.
anyway, seriously though, man-behavior is confusing. "we shouldn't hang out until" but he comes over...and then asks about dinner tomorrow. i wasn't the one that called him, suggested these things, to be slightly 'unavailable' i hate playing games, but he broke his own "we shouldn't hang out until" thing and came to see me.
maybe it's best NOT to think?
amjay45
dating SHOULD be fun....right?