I need some opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
I need some opinion
2
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 7:17pm
Hello everyone!

I need your opinion before I do something I'd regret. Well, there is a guy (of course there is). I have known him for 8 months. We started dating but it didn't go anywhere ( not because I didn't want it...) He suggested remain friends. Oh, well...at least he was honest and didn't try to get me in bed. We remained friends with a little benefit....kissing. Every time we went out we ended up making out...no sex. After a while I met someone else and in 2 months we broke up....

Lets the story begin. The breaking up took 2 weeks during which I talked to my Friend every day and he knew about my situation with that guy. It was nice to vent. Very soon after my break up I slept with my Friend - no regrets. I REALLY could use some comfort. And it was twice good with someone I know well enough and have a good conection with.

I'd say I've always been atracted to him (friend) and after I slept with him attraction grew.

To make long story sort, we slept a few more times and it was a-m-a-i-z-i-n-g! And now I'm in love. He doesn't make an affort to be more than just friends. The decision that I slept with him was totally up to me, he didn't "get" me into bed. So I can't and I don't want to blame him for what happend between us.

I think about him evry sigle day. He went on vacation for 2 weeks and I started forgetting him. And tomorrow is his B-Day. I don't know if I should send him a card. I don't want us to be friends with benefits and I can't be just friends with him - it will kill me if I see him with someone else. On the other hand there is still hope in my heart....that one day we can be together:( If I send a card, as a nice thing to do he could ask me out...and can't say no....I'm weak, I'm sorry... I want to be with him so much but I can't handle FWB relationships any longer....What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: oxy76
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 7:50pm
You cannot make him want a relationship with you and giving him sex is only going to hurt YOU more. You need to stop. He will not suddenly change and want you just because you are having sex. You are right in not wanting a friends with benefits relationship, and sadly that's all he is willing to give you. Let him go and move on to a guy who wants to be with you, not just one willing to be with your body. Some guys will take what you offer them- and if your offer of a relationship is refused, don't be handing out the sex, because chances are they will take that.

Find a guy who wants the WHOLE package you have to offer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: oxy76
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 8:02pm
I've never believed that sex can make someone want a relationship, no. I aware that sex can be just sex.....Besides sex we ARE friends...and it makes it harder to break thing off....