I need some opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
I need some opinions
4
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:31am
Hi to all,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 11 months now. The relationship is going ok, i guess. But there is just one mystery i cannot solve. He was the first to say i love you. After we had a talk he left. then he call back and said that he loves me. He respects me, adores me, treats me good, he is there for me. Sometimes i think he is more into me than i am into him. I have no problem with him calling me. He picks his phone regularly and if he doesn't he returns the call right away. I am so secured with him. My family likes him and I have met his family just once. when i am with him everything feels so right. it feels heavenly. we stare into each others eyes so deeply. This morning he called me just to hear my voice. My big problem is :if everything is so right why haven't he brought me to his house yet. He lives an hour away but works in the town i live in. sometimes he spends the night over. For the past couple of months we have been together on the weekends mostly on saturdays. I am so puzzled he gives me so much affection. Everything feels so right but still he hasn't invite me tho his house. Why? i have asked him why but he never gave me an answer. there could be a possiblity that there is another woman there . But i don't know how this could be. this is the only warning sign i have. when we talk at the end of the day he is so eager to tell me about his day and also to know about my day. This is the best relationship i have had so far. He compliments me everyday. A couple of months ago he asked me to have his baby. And last night marriage came up. I was asking him if he was every married before and how long he interrupted me by asking me will i married him he kept saying it and i kept asking my question then he asked me "will you be my wife?" I don't if he was serious so i didn't answer. After he turned away. How could he act this way and he has never bring me to his place. I just need some opinions. Anybody just tell me what you think about this situation. Could there be woman at home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 11:35am
When you met his family just the one time, how did he introduce you? As his gf? His friend? What? I think it's a warning sign ANY time someone evades issues or ignores questions about themselves. He is definitely hiding SOMETHING. Whether it's another woman or not, only he knows. But whatever it is, you need to get to know him a lot better before you make any drastic moves like marriage. Do you know his address? (you should, after 11 mo. with him) I think it's time to find out if indeed he lives where he says he does, and with whom. I don't condone sneaking around or being deceitful, but I think if it were me I'd take a little road trip on my own to get some answers (and of course, don't tell him if you plan on doing that). He's had ample time and opportunity to be honest with you, and has actually made an effort not to be upfront, so I don't feel that scouting out his digs on your own would be doing anything out of line. Just my 2¢.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 11:09am
Hello well i asked him again why he never brought me to his house and again he never gave me a stragiht answer. He said someting about when he proposed to me he will take me there. i expressed my opinions to him about how i feel there is another woman there. and he said that it couldn't be. then he said how could he explain to the other woman when he comes home with a different outfit. i just need opinions on this situation
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 11:43am
Something is definetely up! I agree that you should maybe take a road trip to see his place. Other things to find out... do you have a home number for this guy? Or just his cell/ work? If you do have a number, do a reverse lookup with it to see where it's from. Have you been to his office? What did he introduce you as to his family and friends, and WHEN did you meet them? It seems too odd that he's avoiding your questions, tells me he's a fake. I mean, it's not like some of the other posters who have said they haven't met the guy's family cause of religious differences, that sort of thing- he is FLAT out avoiding the answers. That speaks volumes.

If you have no idea what his address is and home phone number after 11 months of dating, he's hiding something. I would not doubt it's a wife and probably kids. You need to decide if you're going to put up with this weird behaviour or tell him no more. It would be better to get out now while you don't know, than to find out that he HAS been playing you all along, don't you agree?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 10:09am
I know that he has 2 kids. But if he did had another woman at home would't she find out about me already? He spends nights at my house.