I like to play games in relationships!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
I like to play games in relationships!
4
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:38am
I Have recently been in two serious relationships and i have been bouncing back and forth between guys. I go for the guy i think i want, who at the time wants nothing to do with me, and once i win him over, I am totally unsatisfied, and i go after the previous guy who is no longer talking to me. Whats wrong with me? why cant i be happy? I never thought of myself as playing games. But one guy said I was a heartbreaker, just like the song, and i am starting to think he was right? what do i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:46am
I used to be like this. I would always go after guys and then when I hooked them, I wasn't really interested anymore. Sounds like guys :) I know with me, I was always afraid of getting hurt. It was far safer to drop the guy who I might have something with, and go after someone new. It's not a very satisfying, though. Right now I've met this great guy, and I'm trying to fight off the urge to run away like a little school girl....I really want something with him, but it's pretty scary. So far, staying around has definitely been worth it. Choose the guy you like the most, and try sticking around and building something. It's scary, but it will pay off in the end. Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:50am
lil007...

I guess you think this type of behavior is CUTE, huh? Pianoguy would love to be blunt, but profanity isn't permitted here...so I'll abstain. Here's something to kick around though:

So many ivillage women have posted messages like: "WHY WON'T HE COMMIT?" "WHAT DOES HE REALLY EXPECT FROM ME?" "WHY CAN'T I GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER?" Well ladies....if you've read lil007's post...you've got your answer! Why should we waste our time with you if you'd rather 'fly from guy to guy?' Most of us have better things to do with our time. And frankly, there are much better women out there for us to get to know!

lil007...if you HONESTLY DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP...make it clear to us at the very beginning. You might be in control of the 'game' you're playing right now, but more than likely, you'll come up a loser!

Ask yourself honestly...which is more important...playing "THE GAME" or "GETTING THE GUY?"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 12:05pm
Congrats- I dont know of one girl who hasent done this kind of thing from time to time. The thrill of the chase how sweet it is. However, you play with fire, your going to eventually get burned. It looks to me you are unsure of what you want out there. Your self-esteem is suffering. Unfortunatly when you do this kind of thing and you keep bouncing back like you do its because you dont feel good inside for some reason. You are constantly looking for reasurance from both individuals- not healthy. It is my advice to you to just go out there and date- figure out what you want and stick with it! I dont think your ready to find the right one yet- focus on yourself for right now and later the right one will find you. Find some respect for them- and start respecting yourself. I dont want to sound so blunt but I dont want that Karma to come knocken down your door like a ball of fire either. Ive been through it and trust me- I did the same thing youre doing at one time, and it was because I wasnt happy with myself. Now that I am mature and honest with myself, Im happy with who I am and in turn, know what I want. Take a time out girl- and start with you! Hope I made some sence to you, stacy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:43pm
I agree that you're playing games to keep yourself from getting hurt. But what's going to happen is that eventually your reputation will be such that no one will want to date you cause you're a tease. Be careful with that. You want to be respected and respectful.

I think what you should be doing is JUST dating men. Let them know you are just having fun and only looking to date- nothing serious. You're running when things get too much, so don't let them get to that point. If you're just dating a bunch of guys, then you can have the fun of company without the strings. But I would avoid becoming sexually active with a guy until you decide that you want to be exclusive. Remember, when you sleep with a person, you also sleep with every person they have slept with and every one they have slept with and so on...

Alison

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