I pushing him away...how do I fix it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2013
I pushing him away...how do I fix it?
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 5:33pm

I been seeing the asian guy for 2-3 months now. We go out every Saturday. One night he asked if we were offical, I said I dont know too soon to tell. He asked if I was seeing other guys, I admitted I was but nothing sexual just hanging out. At the time he was only seeing me.

There are 2 guy friends that I really like, I been going out with them more and less with the asian guy. The asian guy is now dating other girls, Im a little jealous. He contacted me to tell me he was going out with other girls and asked how I felt about it, I said I didnt care, he asked if I was mad at him, i told him I have other things to worry about. I was getting depressed over my car accident and the ex bf (the married guy.....still married!!! has a new gf) contacting me via email saying he misses our passionate fun sex. I admit I miss it too.

The 2 guy friends are only looking to have "fun". Now, me and the asian guy havent been out in a while. He repeatedly asks why im not talking to him as frequently as we use to. We had breakfast one morning, he says he wants to go out more often with me and asked about me and the other guys. I dont like saying anything about my other dates. He talks about his dates, I think to try to get a rise out of me. He claims hes not sleeping with anyone.

My thing is I dont like sharing my feelings, makes me mad. I flirt alot but its all an act. Since the whole married guy affair, I been more closed off emotionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 9:10am

You don't say what you're dating goal is. Casual dating like you're doing now? Dating to find a long term partner. None of the guys you speak of are right for you. You're obviously not that into the Asian guy, since after 3 months, he wanted to be exclusive and you opted out. He's really into you. Let him go so he can find someone else who will be crazy about him. Married men are obviously off limits to smart women. Cut off communication with him. Who needs to be in contact with garbage? You apparently don't want FWB's, so the 2 fun guys are not good options. Write down a must haves and dealbreakers list on who you want to date and stick to it. Stop wasting time with mediocrity and shallowness. Time flies by so fast that one day you'll wake up and wonder why your life has been spent with people you shouldn't have given the time of day to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 2:14am

I don't think you're emotional available. I can relate. I met a great guy 6 years ago but I was ambivalent. He found someone els now married with a child. I don't know some women are lucky and have many opportunities. So if you're like me and you're looking for marriage, you should re-examine yourself.