I snooped and found secrets

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
I snooped and found secrets
2
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:14am
I have been dating a guy for almost a year now. For the first 8 months we lived in seperate states. We saw each other once a month and talked on the phone almost daily. He moved in with his ex-wife to help with thier two children. That didn't last long because they simply could not get along. So he said. Now he lives here with me. He came here to live at the end of June. Two weeks ago I was snooping in his email and found an email dated July 22 from a "friend" of his. I did some research and discovered that they were a couple. He says that it isn't true that she was an old friend and that when I broke up with him for a week that they had sex once. The email said stuff like what are your true feelings for me and you messed up my head and I miss your sexy grin. It didn't sound like a one night stand to me. I haven't told him that I read his email but I did confront him oon his "friend". He didn't hesitate or try to deny anything. He feels that he was honest with me but I don't. When he first got here I asked him if there was any other women and he said no. Now, I also had sex with someone when we broke up and right before he got here. He doesn't know about either guy. Should I come clean and try to get everything out in the open, or just let the past be the past and go on from here? Since he's been here he's wonderful and loving and loyal. Should I just let it go? I can't say that I really trust him now. I know that he hasn't told me the whole story. But I'm afraid to tell him that I snooped. What should I do? -Charisma


Edited 9/28/2004 5:38 am ET ET by charismatoo
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:55am
Perhaps you feel you can't trust him b/c you're feeling guilty about your own indiscretions. If you hope to have an honest future with this man, you should be honest and come clean with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 8:12am
Well you don't trust him or you would have never snooped. Now you found something you don't like, you don't believe his "excuse" so why are you with him? You don't trust him, how great of a relationship can you have with no trust.