I think I might have feelings for him

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
I think I might have feelings for him
2
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:37am
My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago after four years together. I started dating someone soon after and have been seeing him off and on since then, but it is by no means an exclusive relationship. I should explain and say this is his choice, he has a reputation as a player and in the beginning I didn't care because I was just looking to have fun and spend time with someone. I started developing real feelings for him though and he has not stopped his ways. He makes plans with me and shows up an hour late or will ask me to do something on a certain day and then not bother to call, and I am not sitting around waiting for him to come around. I've met other people and have started dating a bit, which gets me to my story!

I was out last night and ran into someone who is friends with this 'player' I have been seeing (this is how I met the person I ran into). I seem to see him everywhere I go as we hang out at a lot of the same places. He is such a nice guy and someone I could definitely see myself getting along well with. We talked for most of the night and at the end of the night we were standing next to each other when a slow song came on. His friend nudged me and said his friend wanted to dance with me but he was too scared to ask, so I just smiled and grabbed his hand and we headed to the dance floor. It makes me think he might have feelings for me, as he was too nervous to ask me himself and if he did just care for me as a friend he would have had no problem grabbing my hand and leading me there himself. I know I definitely like this guy as a person and for some reason I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I'm not quite sure what my feelings towards him are, but the complicated part is that he is friends with this person I have been seeing. They've known each other their whole lives and I don't know what kind of mess I'm getting myself into! Do I pursue something with him and see where it leads?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:49am
Hello kami!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:44pm
kami...

If your 1st b/f admitted to being "a player" and there was no exclusivity---what's wrong with you dating this new person? The 4 years are over and you're a "free agent", right?

Of course...you run the risk of the 2 men eventually seeing each other and "comparing notes" about you! Can you handle this...along with the possibility that this new man could drop you in 4 months...as opposed to 4 years?

Make a list of the pros and cons before you decide.

Pianoguy