I think i need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
I think i need help!
2
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:02am
I recently put up a discussion re. my boyfriend leaving me without telling me. Basically we were together for 2 1/2 years, we split up in november last year then got back together in april for 2 weeks, he left his girlfriend for me which i now know that they were engaged and she was apparently pregnant with his child. i only found this out when he did a dissapearing act one morning, we hadn't had an arguement or anything so it was a total shock that he went like that. I have seen him since and i get upset every time.. instead of crying infront of them now i do hold back till i get home! Anyway a company has just called me, we had a joint account with them for a loan, and after discussing my half of the account have told me where he works.. i have been dieing to contact him all these months, as i have been wanting an explaination for why he did what he did.. i am dieing to ring this company and speak to him.. ANY advise welcome.. would any of you call him?? If i did, i would need an excuse for him to come round to my house.. if i told him it was just for me to talk i dont think he'd come..

It has been 3 months now though.. how long does it usually take before you start to get over your ex?

Tx

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:18am
Honestly I would advise you not to contact him. He is having a child with another woman, please let this man go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:18am
Oh honey, he's not worth it. What are you hanging on for? What do you think you will accomplish if you call his work- other than seem like a stalker? This guy used you, played on your feelings and left. Why do you need an explanation from this jerk? What could he possibly say that would make you feel better? Don't you think it's about time that you see this guy for the jerk he is and leave him be? I know that you're hurt and you probably want to get back at him in some way, but nagging and crying and going on to him is only going to make him feel higher about himself! Didn't you say before that the two of them laughed at you when you started crying? Is that really the kind of person you want in your life?

The best thing you can do to get back at him is to act like it doesn't phase you anymore. He's getting some kind of childish kick out of your pain, why allow that to continue? There's nothing he could POSSIBLY say that will make you feel better. He played you, got what he wanted and went back to the girlfriend. Maybe you were some kind of conquest, who knows? All I know is that NO MAN is worth that kind of pain. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and quit crying! Go out and get a haircut, manicure, facial, back massage- whatever will pick you up. Hang out with your friends and DON'T talk about him at all. If you see him, turn and walk the other way. Stop giving him the satisfaction of seeing you upset OVER HIM. All this negative and upset energy is not good for you, you need to shed it all and become positive again. Throw yourself into things that make you happy. Try dating someone, spend the afternoon doing silly things with your friends.

I really hope that you see this guy for what he is. Look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself for the beautiful, happy person you should be again. Don't let a man rule your life.

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