I think we're going to fast

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
I think we're going to fast
7
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:49pm
My boyfriend and I are about 15 and we have been dating for about 3 1/2 months. I love him to death and I know he would never go over the top (have sex), but I'm worried we're going to fast. See about a week or so ago we were even afraid to kiss in public and then just a couple of days ago we started making out. I didn't mind that too much untill we got to french kissing. What should I do? I told him we have to draw the line so we don't go to far but I'm not sure that that will be enough. I can't help but kiss him and I know he loves me but I need a little advice. Please, anybody, Help?

xxxDragonsbabybluexxx

suggestions open Please?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:54pm
dragonsbabyblue...

Pianoguy suggests you shut your mouth tightly the moment your b/f starts the "french kissing routine!"

I just wonder if you're really serious about 'drawing the line?' Your conscience may say NO, but your lips are saying YES! YES! YES!

Which body part of yours is stronger....the head or the heart?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:00am
From a much older women and trying not to sound like your mother--slow down!! You are only 15. While I don't see a huge problem with kissing your boyfriend at 15 (cause hey to be honest--most of us women have been there, done that) you are far too young for any "sexual" behavior. You could very well ruin your life. Having sex too young can impede how you concieve yourself for the rest of your life. Take this from someone that knows. So-guess what? If you think you are going to fast....YOU ARE. Slow it down or you will find yourself in a situation you don't want to be in and then possibly regret it later!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:04pm
You really have to set limits for yourself and stick to them because as you are already experiencing, it's hard to think when you're making out!!! Men reach their sexual peak at 16-18 so if you can't think when you're kissing, imagine what it's like for him. (You'll reach your sexual peak at 40!)

I think you're on the right track. You've communicated your limits to him. YOU are always in control, if you need to stop, stop him. If you let him do things, he's not a mind reader and will think that you're ok with where things are headed. If you tell him no and he persists, then this isn't the guy for you.

Some women use strategies to put off having sex with a guy...like not shaving their legs or their armpits. Try that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:10pm
sweetie, you are just a baby. I'm a mother of a 9 yr. old girl. I also have 2 teenage boys in the house. 15 isn't to young to date, but it is to young to get serious. I know this from my own experience. If you arent ready, then you aren't ready. I do believe, that even at 15 you can love him. But, it's puppy love. You have to lay it on the line, tell him to slow down and mean it. Don't tell him to slow down, and then get busy with him. It sends him mixed signals. If you were my daughter, I would hope that you wouldn't get to serious with a boyfriend at your age. But, you are asking for advice, not mothering. Think about the seriousness of your actions, consequenes, the things that could happen. Not to mention your reputation. Kids can be cruel. You have a lot of years ahead of you, there is plenty of time for intimacy. If you are truly scard about how physically close things are getting, then stop, don't do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable. If you were my daughter, I'd stick you in a convent with the nuns........just kidding. Good luck and let us know what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:04pm
Thank you all for your advise. I know you guys mean well but the fact is he's not like that. We talked it over and he was a little uncomfortable with the whole going too fast thing too. I know you all are good people and you were helping but now I know that we are responsible together. he's very shy, a guy one year younger than me. I know what can happen if things went too far. My mother had me when she was 17 and she told me how hard it was for her. That's why a thought quickly and decided to ask all of you. We aren't gonna go too far and I know that know. He knows I'm serious when I tell him I wanna draw the line. And yes I will take you guys advise and be stern. The point is we love each other and now I know we can handle each other and our selves. Thank you all for your advise. It was most helpful for new ideas on how to control. I just should have talked to him about it in the first place. Once again... Thank you.

xxxDragonsbabybluexxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 7:40pm
You sound like a very mature 15 yr. old. I'm glad to hear that you and your mom can talk about these things, good for both of you. It's important to keep an open communication going with your mother. You know the saying, mother knows best. Listen to me, I am a mom too.

Just please please be careful. Respect yourself and your body and PROTECT it when the time comes. And I hope that time isn't anywhere in the near future.

Keep us posted on how things go. I have a 9 yr. old and reading your messages is really giving me insight as to what is to come with my own daughter. T Smith
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:51pm
Don't worry cofegrl. I totally agree that mom knows best. She discused all that is needed to be known about boys and protection. And I don't plan on even haveing sex for a long long long long (well you get the point), for a very very long time. I plan to work on making my life sturdy before a weak point comes along. Children are miricles, I just don't want one before I can afford or take care of one. Thanks again for the help and thanks a bunch for the complement. I know your children will grow to be very smart with a mother like you.

xxxDragonsbabybluexxx