I wanna die!
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I wanna die!
| Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:54pm |
So I have been with my boyfriend a little over nine months now and last night, we had a sit down. FYI, Im 23 and he's 26. He wanted to tell me that he doesnt want to waste my time because he knows I eventually want marriage and he's just not ready. He says things are getting too deep and he'd rather do this now than later. I'm not sure if we have officially broken up but how can someone love you and let you walk out of their life??? Another issue is conflicting religions and earlier, I had told him my situation and he reassured me time after time and now he is telling me that it could be a problem. Regardless, if and when the time comes, we would work it out somehow anyway, its not the end of the world. I just feel like he's throwing our relationship away just so he cant get hurt later on. He said we d talk later today but why should my feelings just be put on hold? How is that fair? Im so confused.

Hi hotimportgirl,
It could be a bunch of things. It could be that he feels he's getting closer to you and men sometimes instinctively pull away when that happens. It could be that the relationship is just not working for him and he's using all that stuff as an excuse (I hope not). It could be that he's been hurt and it's a defense mechanism. You could try and get him to talk about it, but it's been my experience that it's sometimes best just to resign yourself to trying to go on with life. I know it's so much easier said than done, but it's not fair for you to have to put your feelings and your life on hold in order for him to figure things out. You might just want to reiterate what you believe he has told you and then tell him to take some time to figure out if it's what he really wants. But please don't just be waiting around in the meantime. Get back out, do things with your friends and try to stay so busy that you don't have long periods of time to ponder what he's doing, thinking, etc. I know that he said you two would talk soon, but wouldn't it be best (for both of you) if you wait to talk until he has things figured out for sure? It would be less hurtful for you in the long run.
Good luck,
Jen