I want him back so bad! Help me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
I want him back so bad! Help me!
2
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 11:50pm
I would really love some advice if you can give it to me. The love of my life,

Jon-Eric, had recently broke up with me. It's been over two weeks since we

last talked and I really miss him. Delilah, I know he's the one for me and I

know that I'm the one for him. You're probably reading this and thinking "God,

this girl is so young to be thinking like that." I look back on our

relationship and we've had a lot of ups and downs, but the past year we've been

so happy, except for the fact that I hid him from my parents because my parents

didn't like him, but I recently convinced them that he's all I ever wanted in a

guy and now they want me to be with him, but I can't because he doesn't want to

be with me. I look at all the letters and e-mails he has written me and it

makes me cry everytime I think about how he felt. I remember asking him if he

loved me when he wanted to stop talking and he said he did. He said that I was

his true love. I reminded him of how compatible we are and then he started to

cry and say "I know. I feel we are too." It made me cry so bad and I didn't

want to leave his side that night. But he made me leave, which really hurt

me. Do you really think he means it when he says he's serious about breaking

up for good? I've been getting advice from a lot of people and they keep on

telling me that he just needs to figure out what he's missing and that he

probably won't be gone for good. My sister has been dating her boyfriend, Joe,

for 5 years now. Two years ago he did the same thing to her. He told her that

he doesn't think he could ever be with someone like her for the rest of his

life. He told me he didn't want to talk to her anymore and told her to leave.

It was the exact same thing Jon-Eric said to me. I called him up hysterically

crying that night and he explained to me that Jon-Eric won't be gone for good

and that he's not going anywhere. All I needed to do was just give him his

time and then he will come to realize what he had. He said he'll start to miss

me. I remember one time when Jon-Eric and I were talking and we had both said

to each other that we would never find anyone like each other. We are so

compatible, so comfortable with each other. I pray to God everyday, literally,

that he'll realize that I'm the one for him and that he'll come back. I've

tried talking to other guys and going out with them before, but it's just not

the same. The way Jon-Eric and I would act towards each other is just not the

same as any other guy. I regret a lot of the bad things that happened between

him and I and I wish I can take them back, but I have learned to forgive him

and forgive myself. I went to Barnes & Noble and bought 2 books: "Men Are From

Mars, Women Are From Venus" and "Why I Love you: 100 Reasons." I sent Jon-Eric

"Why I Love You: 100 Reasons" hoping that he'll realize how much he means to

me, but when he got it he didn't even call or anything. I hope he read it. He

means so much to me. I am trying to give him his time by not calling him or

showing him contact, but I'm scared that if I don't show him that I want to be

around him, he'll forget about me and find someone else. That's my biggest

fear. I know that no other girl will make him feel as good as I make him

feel. He's told me this plenty of times. I want him to know that I am so in

love with him and I am willing to do anything to make us happy again. I

believe he's the reason I still keep going everyday. Fate brought us

together. It was love at first sight for the both of us. I knew he was the

one that I wanted to be with. Please help me. I don't know what there is to

do, but I really want him back. I want to be together for every holiday. In

fact, I want to be together everyday. Please help me. Thanks for taking the

time to read this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 7:36am
Hon, you're so blinded by love that you can't think straight. You refuse to accept that it's over between you two. Your ex made a desicion and I believe there is more to it than what you've said in your message. It is possible that he indeed needs time to figure out what he wants and needs, but it's also possible that he just grew tired of dating you. He's been nice to you in telling you that you were the one, but maybe he was just letting you down easy. Whatever reason he had to break it up is his desicion and it appears that it's a desicion he plans to keep. By hanging around and hoping to "get a call" you're preventing your own healing from happening. I know it must be hell to be in your shoes, but the reality is that he's trying to move on, he's not contacted you, he's trying to get over you. You should do the same for the sake of your own mental and emotional health. If at some point he decides to establish contact again, then you will decide if you want to see him again. Hon, you can't control his actions, but you can control yours. Take charge of your life and start the healing process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 7:51am
Hi

I know you don't want to hear this now but your best move is to take a few deep breaths and get on with your own life.
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