I'm afraid of getting married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
I'm afraid of getting married.
3
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 2:48am
I'm in my early 20's and am in a great relationship with a great guy. My problem is, I know he wants to marry me, and I am terrified. I have been married already and it fell apart after a year. I met my current guy within days of the split, and moved in with him not long after. I know I am not with him just because, I do love him, but I am terrified of making another commitement and having it end badly. He is very supportive and I know he will wait as long as he needs to but I am just scared. We have lived together for a year now. I feel like I am just sitting still, not moving towards anything. My first husband was emotionally distant and very controlling, nothing like my boyfriend. Now I feel like I have taken the roll my ex-husband played. Is is normal to be afraid of marriage after a bad divorce? What can I do to ease this un-ease?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 6:46am
Counseling could really help you here.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 5:02pm
Hello devonkelleen!
Welcome to Ask the Dating Doyenne!!

What can you do? One thing you can do is try to understand why you feel that there is such a rush... and, you are quite young and have already bveen married and divorced, met another man within days and moved in with him not long after. This indicates to me that you do not know what it is like to be alone... Alone is that time that one needs to learn about themselves.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 9:17pm
You wrote: "We have lived together for a year now."

______________________

How about moving out for a while - to make sure it's something you both really want?