I'm Freaking Out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
I'm Freaking Out!
4
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 6:58pm

Okay, I met this guy and we get along really well. I've know him for a week now, and we've have 3 dates and made out. I'm a virgin and he knows that. I'm freaking out though because he says he loves me and wants to marry me and I've only known him a week and we get along well. I've never been in a serious relationship, and there are a couple things about him that bug me that give me pause. But we seem to have good chemistry, or is that just because i've never gone so far with a guy?

I'm soooo confused. I don't want to hurt him, he seems really sweet. or is it an act? I don't think so, he seems really into it. Help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 9:36pm

Hi, Rilla! I hope I've caught you before going out on a Sat. night date! I'm just killing some time waiting for my friend to come over. Anyway, it could very well be an act. Every guys fantasy is to be with a virgin, so be careful, he could be one of *those* guys. Secondly, I don't trust when a guy says he loves you after one week. He is operating on pure emotion, and when he gets back to his day to day routine, he may just find he's in "like" with you". A lot of guys they love us, just to get what they want. Some guys are crafty and they know what women want to hear. They know the word "I love you" make some women throw caution to the wind and give into their every whim.

My advice is for you to wait wait wait to have sex with him. Do you want your first guy to be a one night stand? Most guys who are not sincere won't stick around for a year waiting for the big night. If he really loves you, he'll wait indefinatley. I almost "gave in to" a guy who was my bf. And I'm GLAD I didn't. After dating him for six months, and his constant badgering, he managed to get me into bed. His anxiety and insensitiveness, made me uptight and things just weren't happening. Before I could put my clothes back on, his true colours came out. He was anxious and it turned into anger. He blamed me for "ruining the moment" and he became forceful (verbally, not physically, thank God). I told him it just wasn't right at the moment. He threatened to break up with me. He said I "strung him along long enough and it was now or never". At that point, I left. After that experience, I was very thankful he wasn't my first. I also feel that if the wrong guy is your first, that it is very unfortunate. The guy who was my first and I didn't last forever, but I knew he loved me in his way. Right now, I wish I had waited until marriage. I know not many people wait anymore, but I find myself wishing I'd waited.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 10:25am

Hi Rilla and welcome to the board!


In my experience,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 1:15pm

Thanks both of you, your comments were very helpful.

Thanks Again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 4:11pm
It's an act, nobody knows whether they want to marry someone after 1 week.