I'm a guy and need an outside opinion
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I'm a guy and need an outside opinion
| Mon, 09-11-2006 - 7:56pm |
Recently I started dating this girl who is very open about her sexual past. For example, we were talking one day and she told me about a threesome she had with an ex-boyfriend and her roommate (a girl). And then, for her birthday last year she went to a strip club, got lap dances, and said the strippers were feeling her up and licking her. To top it off, she enjoyed it. She continually tells me that she chooses men and doesn't want a relationship with women, but the idea doesn't turn her off either. I, on the other hand, am a much more conservative guy when it comes to sex. Believe me, I like it. But, I only want it to be shared between myself and her. I'm afraid that while she's into me right now it's only a matter of time before the other shoe drops and someone else becomes much more appealing to her (whether it's a man or a woman). I really like her but I'm unsure on how to proceed if I can't get over these "uneasy" feelings. Any thoughts?

I respect others choices when it comes to sex, BUT the only thought about her telling you openly about her somewhat promiscuous past makes me wonder if she is a carrier of any STD or even HIV or AIDS. In my experience, people who enjoy group sex and such look for people who are compatible with that lifestyle. You being a conservative guy who thinks that sex is meant to be between two people could find it challenging with this woman. It's possible that in time she'd ask you to bring a third party into the bedroom. It's possible that she's bisexual as well.
I'd suggest to make sure that you both pass the bill of health with flying color before attempting any type of sex as a couple or sex as a group.
Leopards usually don't change their spots... if a person is into doing something and then tries to temper that, I believe it eventually comes up again for them. So in your case, if she's trying to walk the straight and narrow I think at some point in your relationship she will get bored and expect more from either you or expect you to allow her to do what she needs.
That old saying "two peas in a pod" exists for a reason. In my mind, there's certain core things that two people must share in order to share a life together. If that's not there, then there may be problems down the road...
Level with her about your feelings.