I'm in love with my best friend... HELP!
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I'm in love with my best friend... HELP!
| Tue, 03-14-2006 - 12:28am |
It's cliche and stupid and embarrassing, but I've fallen hard for my best guy friend (and he's just my best friend, period). I'm fairly sure he loves me back, but he's not the kind of guy to just say it. It sounds simple enough, right? I should just be able to tell him and get it over with.
But of course, nothing in life is ever that simple.
First off, there's an age difference. I'm 37 and he's 19. My friends all say that's a big 'no!'. Second off, while I'm (and I'll admit to it) very hyper and happy all the time (either that or going nuts over something) he's totally cool and collected, and very analytical. We're really opposite in so many ways I'm amazed we get along so well. But even though opposites attract, do they work in long run?
I'm so embarrassed that I'm having what feels a lot like a school girl crush. I go nuts if he holds my hand and I want to faint when we're watching TV together and he leans his head on my shoulder. I walk around in a happy haze whenever he sends me flowers and everytime we go somewhere together I practically float on air. I just feel like at 37 I should be way more sensible and in control of my love life. I mean, in an age where sex is common, you'd think a kiss on the cheek wouldn't make me want to fall over. God, I need help! Should I go for it or just leave everything as it is? I don't want to wreck our friendship or anything like that...
But of course, nothing in life is ever that simple.
First off, there's an age difference. I'm 37 and he's 19. My friends all say that's a big 'no!'. Second off, while I'm (and I'll admit to it) very hyper and happy all the time (either that or going nuts over something) he's totally cool and collected, and very analytical. We're really opposite in so many ways I'm amazed we get along so well. But even though opposites attract, do they work in long run?
I'm so embarrassed that I'm having what feels a lot like a school girl crush. I go nuts if he holds my hand and I want to faint when we're watching TV together and he leans his head on my shoulder. I walk around in a happy haze whenever he sends me flowers and everytime we go somewhere together I practically float on air. I just feel like at 37 I should be way more sensible and in control of my love life. I mean, in an age where sex is common, you'd think a kiss on the cheek wouldn't make me want to fall over. God, I need help! Should I go for it or just leave everything as it is? I don't want to wreck our friendship or anything like that...

discomilla...
PG is sure there's an interesting history behind your ivillage name? .
It's nice to see a woman happy in a relationship...even though there are people who might accuse you of "robbing the cradle?" Face it...an 18 year age difference can create a lot of talk!
But you never indicated (in your post) HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU? Certain behaviors (like putting his head on your shoulder) might lead you to believe there's something SERIOUS between you....when the gestures he makes might be more along the lines of a good friendship?
If the 2 of you can share a lunch or at least coffee...AWAY FROM OTHERS WHO KNOW YOU...perhaps you can 'clear the air' when it comes to your feelings and his?
Pianoguy
My boyfriend and I were best friends for 5 years before we began dating, and I am the happiest I have ever been, and things are great. As for being worried that you will wreck the friendship, I wouldn't worry about that.
As for the age difference, it is justified to be concerned about this. 18 years is a lot when he's only 19. You were basically his age when he was born. But with that being said, don't worry about anyone else's opinion. If that age difference doesn't bother either one of you, then what does it matter if it bothers your friends, really? Women hit their sexual prime much later in life than men, so it actually makes perfect sense to me.
Who cares that you are 37 and feeling like a school girl? I think that's great. You've got butterflies, and you're happy and excited. Stop trying to talk yourself out of being happy! Most people would kill for that at any point in their life. Consider yourself lucky that you get to feel that way.
All in all, I say go for it. Based on what you said about his behavior, it doesn't seem like a stretch to get the impression that he might have feelings as well. You'd be foolish to let it go because of a few small issues.