I'm really bad at this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
I'm really bad at this...
1
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 4:09am
I'm really bad at this...

I meet the right guy (or I think it is the right guy) and then I have this tendancy of blowing it off...maybe, I just do not understand what I should or shouldn't have done...

I met this guy recently, he's really nice and we get along just fine. Initially, he was interested in me but I hesitated as we just met and became friends. Of course, I would prefer to get to know him more and go thru the process instead of diving into something. He was really attentive and was great but due to the fact that I was a little cold or not responsive in the beginning, he backed off. He took quite a number of steps back and now, I find myself falling for this guy and he's not responding!!!

Well, I mean...we're still friends and we see each other like norm. But the attentiveness is gone. And I feel that he's sorta losing the interest in pursuing.

I don't understand the things I say or do sometimes. And I always tend to regret it after. I didn't want to seem desperate or anything so I played it cool at first. Was that move wrong? I mean, I have to get to know a person in order to know if they're the 'one' for me right? Or if I can get along with them or not right?

Now, that I found out we can get along just fine and he's got every potential as a boyfriend. I'm finding myself falling for this guy. He amazes me with his intelligence. But of course, no one is perfect. There are some flaws I saw in him. But it was okay. But the only problem now, is that he's taken those steps back and he's being a little cold towards me. Did I hurt his ego?

Please advice on what should I do on this matter...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 8:07am
sharlensiew...

It's just a thought....but perhaps you could hand-deliver a half gallon of the man's favorite ice cream to his home or office? Enclose a card (nothing mushy, but friendly) with the ice cream...that says:

"I'd like to try and break the ice---with your favorite cream!"

More than likely---while your b/f is enjoying his favorite flavor---he'll ask you what the remark means. This is your chance to express your thoughts.

Just remember one thing about ALL MEN. We often take "our cues" from the signals women give to us. If they're aloof, quiet, shy or self-centered...we'll probably assume there's no interest on your part. While it might have taken YOU a little longer to "warm up" to any man (in the past)...perhaps your 'heating up time' needs to be accelerated a little?

Now go out and buy the man some of his favorite ice cream! :)

Pianoguy