im terrified of losing him
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im terrified of losing him
| Thu, 11-18-2004 - 2:44pm |
ever since finding out that my boyfriend is to leave me for 5 months to train people in the usa (his first time) i have become utterly depressed.I keep fearing for our future,worrying if there is one,although he wants us to be together,given the posotive approach when telling me about it.Everyone but me cant see what there is to worry about,saying there is nothing and everything will be fine,but i just cant bring myself to be posotive about it.It is an awful long time to me and i havent gone longer than 3 weeks without him and even then i felt empty,despite this time round it being longer and much worse,I could cope with it just as long as i knew for certain we would be together,although he wants us to be.I am scared he will change his mind about us when he leaves,worrying girls over there will be far more appealing than i am,although i do trust him,but this isnt the issue,im scared he will feel much better off without me during that period of time and just forget about me.we are very much in love,both he and i feel we were made for each other,but i havent felt happily 'in love' since finding out,all i can think about is when he leaves and fearing the worst worrying that we will break up,its making me ill and usually i cant sleep.I want us to be together and get through this,im sick of worrying,how can i make sure this doesnt happen,and would it be threatening that hes meetin new people? how can i keep our relationship strong even whilst hes away? love tara x

Bellina here,I can truly empathize with your perplexed worries over your sweethearts
leaving for 5 months. I'm seeing someone whom I've known for the past year.We've
not yet declared the I love yous of yet. P and I began,while meeting him in a local
eatery,he was my usual Maitre di,serving me,friends and family.During a tragic
loss over the course of my parents battles with cancer,he entered my life.We'd always
flirt,especially p.,giving lots of complementary desserts,entrees,drinks.Just nice
pleasantries,he'd always converse with me mainly.After a couple of months,dad's struggle
with his illness,resulted in passing.We'd taken my ill mom to comfort her to P.s restaurant. That evening,he sensed the overwhelming sadness,said had passed,he'd
quickly hugged mum and sis,and gave me a very tender hug and kisses,I too felt this
strong attraction,reciprocated despite my shy nature.From then on,attended dad's
funeral,supported me during mom's inhospitol stay,where she 2 months later,gave
up her fight too.Grief was overwhelming for myself and family.P. was there for
me,grew more affectionate,later saw him frequent.Shared mutual interests,tastes in
music,art,sports,family bonds,backgrounds,etc..I'd truly felt love for thisvery
special,sensitive,great-looking,witty fellow.Though we'd never verbalized thes
3 vital words,the feelings were there,lots of affection,passion,kissing,not quite
consumating things. He was offered a job in a posh eatery in town,20 min. away,
late hours(AFTER 11PM),A DAY OFF. Passion seemed to go from flames to flickers,coudln't find time to date.Just lots of romantic banter,endearments via
phonecalls.This is now several weeks,miss him not seeing,or being able to
have our romantic rendezvous.I want to tell him I love him but feels less meaningful
in phonecalls.Let him know you'll like to see him during his 5 month stay,and plan
a trip to rekindle that wonderful loveconnection you both feel. Best wishes,Bellina
Fair