Impatient

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Impatient
4
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:31am

I have been seeing this guy for two months now. There is mixed advice out there about how long should you wait until you have "the talk". Well, this past weekend I was at our local bar with two of my friends who are a couple. The guy I have been seeing was there. We didnt spend the whole night all over each other like my friends and most other people seem to do. My friends were not impressed by my guy. Everyone has been saying that I am putting up with too much. (He has issues with calling me on his own, although he does it sometimes, he has issues with returning my calls and lately he has been spending more time with his boys rather than me. I know that I have been spending too much time with him, I want to spend every free minute with him or at least have him in bed beside me when I go to sleep.) After I got all these comments from people, including my friend I wrote this guy a letter saying that I would like to know where I stand. If he isnt ready for a relationship thats ok, I would just like to know where I stand. I also added that he is the only guy I want to be with but I might consider going out with other guys if he doesnt want to be with me. I told him that I was making him cookies on Sunday, he said that he would call but then didnt. So on Monday I dropped off the cookies at his house with the letter I wrote. Because he was at Monday Night Football he wouldnt have gotten the letter until Tuesday.

Im not a very patient person. And I miss him already. He has to move and I know of a possible place but I dont know if I should call him or not? Should I just ignore/try to forget about him until he calls? Or can I call him but not say anything about the letter? I dont even know if he got the letter!
If the advice is to wait for him to call me, how long should I wait before I either give up or try and contact him?
Im not sure that the letter I wrote made sense. I dont know if I got the point across. I want to discuss this with him.

What should I do? Wait? Call him? I do know his schedule and could leave a message.

Please Please Please HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 9:05am

First, it is unfortunate that you wrote that letter, I would have advised you to have a face to face discussion so you could see his reaction.

I'd give him a call and see what he has to say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 12:29pm
Don't deny all these signs. He should be calling you if he cares about a relationship with you. You've done more than enough to show your feelings and if it's not being reciprocated then you can't drive yourself mad trying to figure out why. He should be taking responsibility and telling you if he doesn't want a relationship but he's not doing that. You know, even if it's deep down, that you want more than that, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:07pm
I just did the same thing, I sent a letter to the guy I am dating. He probably got it 2-3 days ago and he has not said a word. I have seen him since he has received the letter. Someone told me that he made need time to figure out how he feels. Don't wait forever, but don't confront him the day after he gets the letter.If he really feels for you what you feel for him, you should not have to wait long for his response. Or he may be the type of guy who it is not easy for him to share his feelings. I did however tell him how i felt to his face and i think he responded pretty well. Conversation was pretty intense. I only wrote a letter because I thought i would not see him after I spoke with him. Keep me posted on you situation. I posted " Need some insight".
Good Luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:40pm

You are making a lot of demands and putting a lot of pressure on this guy. You don't want to go to bed at night without him? It's only been

,