interested but he's my doctor

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
interested but he's my doctor
6
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 1:14pm
I recently went to the doctor and what do you know, I end up with an appointment with one of the new associates, this really good looking guy in his early 30s (as far as I can tell he's single). It sounds crazy, but we seemed to really hit it off the moment he walked into the room. It turns out that we have a lot in common-- from the same part of the city, have the same background, have been to the same restaurants... there were obviously good vibes between us... I haven't hit it off with someone so naturally in a very very long time. We're around the same age as well and even said that we've probably crossed paths a few times in the past while at events in our old neighborhood. anyway, I have a feeling that if the circumstances were different-- if I weren't his new patient basically-- he would have asked for my number. i'm going back there in a few weeks for a followup and I can't help but wonder if there's anyway that we could get over the whole doctor-patient thing and possibly go out on a date? He seemed genuinely interested in me and we just kept on talking and talking about our lives while I was in the room with him.... it would be such a shame to have to let this go to the wayside when we've seemed to click so well. I'm sure people have met this way before. Is there anyway to get past the whole professional relationship thing and just let him know that I'm available and would love to see him again after I go back for my followup and won't need to see him as a patient anymore?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 8:22pm

Is he not the type of doctor you'd go to regularly (more of a specialist)? If so, then I would say something at the end of the next appointment like, well since I won't see you as a patient anymore, maybe we could have a cup of coffee sometime, and give him your card. That lets him know the professional relationship is over so far as you are concerned and that you're interested, but it puts the ball in his court.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 1:00am
I agree with Sheri. Ask him out for a cup of coffee or something simple and see how he responds. If the whole doctor / patient thing bothers him, tell him you won't see him as your doctor from now on.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 1:05am

Just to make it clear, I wasn't suggesting that she ask him out. I was suggesting that she make it clear that she would be interested if HE were to ask, and put the ball to do the actual asking in his court by giving him her card.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 2:21pm
that is a very good idea. thanks for your replies. by giving him my card at the end of our last appointment in two weeks i can put the ball in his court. it would just be a nice gesture that would open the door for something. the worst than can happen is he says he has a girlfriend but thanks for offering anyway. i'll never know unless i take the right and try.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 2:33pm

You may have picked up on it, but since you didn't mention it in your response, I wanted to reiterate how important it is that you make clear that you will *never again* be seeing him in a professional capacity, as it's my understanding that there are serious ethics rules against dating patients.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 9:59pm
I know, that's something important I will have to make clear. I'm going to do my best to convey that the professional tie is over before I give him my card because i wouldn't want him to feel like he was just thrown into an awkward position that causes him more anxiety. i just felt so happy being around him and I just need to know if there's any possibility of this going further. it was just one of those amazing instant connections that are hard to come by and that occur when you aren't even expecting anything.