Intimacy too soon?
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Intimacy too soon?
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 8:44pm |
I'm hoping there is at least one other virgin at (gasp!) 30 out there. I've haven't had a serious boyfriend, but have just started dating someone. While nothing physical happened on the first date, he kissed me many times on our second date-- at some points we were making out for 15-20 minutes in his car before he left. I've had very little experience -- calling all of those out there who are young/older/wiser than myself...Will he start expecting more intimacy very soon? I'm NOT ready for sex any time soon, but afraid I sent him the wrong message making out with him for so long on our second date. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Sophie

As for when he expects 'it'...I think that men respect a woman who holds him at arm's length until she is sure...but some men will not wait around after a month or three...and that's only ONE way to know that he's interested in you and not just your ass. When I got divorced I don't know how many times my men friends told me to not 'give it to him' (even if I wanted to) and to let the guy get to know me as a person. It's disappointing when a guy you've been hot for doesn't call after the fifth date, but then you know he wasn't that interested and it's for the best.
Sophie
I was sorta in the same position as you are with my current boyfriend. Yup..im still a virgin too at age 22 and b4 my boyfriend i also hadnt been in a serious relationship before.
Our first two dates were a bit awk, mostly cause we were shy and well first dates are always awkward. We showed affection, but subliminly..then the third date came around and that first kiss was followed up later with a make out session as well. I also felt quite confused and asked my girlfriends for help.
If you feel that you are being rushed, tell him how you feel. If he truly cares about you he will respect your feelings. Im guessing that he has more experience than you, does he know this? Its really important to tell him. In my situation, he slowed things down and was a bit more careful about making moves on me..making sure i was okay with things.
Good Luck!
Thanks everyone for you're advice. Although I'm a bit embarrased to admit my lack of experience, I think you've all given me some really good advice.
Thanks again!
Sophie