intimidated by attractive men

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
intimidated by attractive men
1
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 7:04pm

I'm a 22 year old girl residing in a large city. I am smart and very pretty. Most guys would say I'm a 9 or a 10, and I am approached by men all the time.

My problem is this-- I get so nevous around good looking men. When I am talking to someone I think is not attractive or "okay," I am clever, charming, and interesting. When I am able to show this side of myself, I can get just about any guy to fall madly in love with me. (I feel really snotty saying that but it's central to the problem). However, when I am talking with a guy I'm atracted to, I doubt myself constantly and come across as shy, cold, maybe even boring! (gross)

So, I end up dating guys who are "okay," and we have amazing emotional/intellectual connection, but eventually I just stop wanting to kiss them. This has happened in every relationship I've ever had! I just fall out of love.

Anyone have any advice on how to (a) have more confidence with attractive guys or (b) stop falling out of love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 10:49am

mbaby6...

PG is a tad confused by your post? What are you expecting from ANY MAN...if anything?

Most of us find an attractive woman just that: ATTRACTIVE! We might flirt with or carry on a conversation with you...but we can usually tell from your responses (and eye contact) whether you're flattered or repulsed by our efforts.

I may have read your post incorrectly...but you seem to having a "tug of war" between accepting (or embracing) the attention a man might give you? Or making up your mind if you honestly want his attention in the first place?

There are tons of excuses a woman can give...including the always-popular:

"I already have a boyfriend and I'm not interested!"

I think you need to 'clarify what it is you desire from any of us'...whether it's attention, a friendship, or a serious relationship? Depending upon the degree of desire you have...make your plans accordingly to respond or ignore us!

Pianoguy