Is that it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Is that it?
4
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 10:20am
A little over a year ago, I left my abusive partner with whom I have a 3 year old daughter. He has had no contact with us since I left him. I am currently still single. About two months ago, I ran into a man who I have been smitten with for nearly a decade, although he had been with the same woman for as long as I've known him. However, the night I ran into him, I hadn't seen him in over 4 years, and he informed me that his relationship has been over for a long time, and that he was interested in spending time with me. We began corresponding via email everyday, and I have met him out socially a few times since. A couple weeks ago, he informed me that he still lives with this woman, but he insists that they live together because neither of them wants to separate the other from their 7 year old son. He claims their relationship is strictly plutonic. I of course don't buy this for a second. I love spending time with him, but I informed him that because he still has a live-in girlfriend, our relationship would be strictly plutonic also. We still emailed each other multiple times per day, everyday.... Until two days ago, when I didn't receive a single email, and haven't received any since. Is that it? Does he want nothing to do with me because I won't sneak around with him behind his girlfriend's back? What a let down!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: numb2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:45am
You've informed him that he won't be getting anything without obligation.....of course he's ceased to contact you.

He can't get into social dating with you, he can't sleep with you openly and involve himself in your life...he's got a girlfriend and a child - and he'll lose both by doing anything publicly with you.

Of course he's out of the picture....what did you think was going on?

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: numb2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 1:57pm

I think you should be grateful if he is exiting your life, on his own.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: numb2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 7:52pm
If that is the case, you don't need him. The fact that he has no plans to move out is a red flag. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it to. If he is no longer responding to you, maybe that is it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
In reply to: numb2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:31pm
Thanks to all who replied. The whole situation was a red flag, and I've been aware of it from the beginning. I know I appeared extremely gullible due to unrequited wishful thinking, but I have since made myself unavailable to this man. Thanks again.....