Is it alright?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 12-11-2004 - 9:56pm |
Hello,
This is my first time posting and I sort of feel embarassed asking this question. However, I just got off the phone with my boyfriend after an upsetting topic of conversation. To understand some of this topic, we have been going out for eight months and are currently in a long distance relationship at separate colleges.
I was just wondering if it means anything if a guy still masturbates in a serious relationship. He told me that it isn't because of anything I'm doing wrong, and that if I was there he wouldn't "need" to.
But I still feel sort of angry and confused. Why does he need to do that? Why can't he wait until we're together? He can't wait three weeks or even two?
Thank you for listening and I hope you can offer me some advice.

Oh HECK yes!!!
You mean you don't????
Seriously, that is completely normal, *especially* in the context of an LDR. But even if you were living in the same place, it would still be normal. Sex with a partner doesn't completely take the place of solo sex for everyone, even when you're in a serious r'ship. It's two different things.
Sheri
Bellina here! Well,luv hate to burst your bubble about your fellow,but despite being
intimate in your relationship,he has his "own" desires.Alot of men and ladies feel a "need" to do this(not speaking for myself),as I feel when in love with someone isn't
gratifying as much as shared with one's lover.But guess everyone has different ways of feeling sensual when there significant other/boyfriend/galfriend isn't with them. Guess tis best to let him do as he pleases,unless it's overtaking your mutual intimate encounter in sharing affecttions.I'm sorry if I'm reserved in discussing this matter,must be the Brit in me. Feel that being sexual is far better together,with someone you care for than alone..guess its a matter of preferences too. Best wishes in this matter,and hope your relationship is enhanced by discussing this out in the opened,saying honestly that you're uncomfortable with this. Take care,Bellina
It's less about you and more about the male anatomy. When a boy hits puberty and his hormones begin to change, he can experience a "wet dream" in which he will "come" during his sleep. It's the body's physical NEED to release the sperm. Some men continue to feel this need and need the release or they get what is commonly referred to as "blue balls", which I hear is actually painful.
So, it's not about his inability to "wait three weeks for you", but more a physical need for release. Some people find it a release not only physically, but mentally from stress as well. For them to have an orgasm alone is more about relieving pressure than not wanting to have sex with their partner.
Have you thought about the possibility that he fantasizes about you and the pleasure you bring him when you're together?
So, yes, it is alrightt for him to fly solo- unless he no longer wanted intimacy with you in favour of his solo flight.
You may want to try phone sex with him and try it for yourself, you never know...
Alison